


Lunar Café

by WammygirlZ



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst?, Awkward Draco, Boys Kissing, Bullying, Coming Out, Did I Mention Angst?, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lemon, M/M, Nice!Draco, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slight Weasley Bashing, Smut, Work In Progress, Yup there's angst, general cuteness, mentions of child abuse, possible triggers, shy!harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-06 20:17:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WammygirlZ/pseuds/WammygirlZ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I walked past the book shop/coffee shop twice a day five times a week; when I walked to and from my school. Lunar Café. It looked cozy and welcoming, and I just couldn't resist anymore." Draco moves away from his private school in London to get away from vicious bullying, and ends up finding love in the odd, lonely boy who makes killer lattes. What will his parents think of his less-than-fortunate boyfriend, and what exactly is Harry hiding at home?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue- Icy Roads...?

**Author's Note:**

> I fell in love with the pairing by accident and have never looked back XD

The soft, unique smell of books surrounded me as I stepped into the shop, a light tinkling noise following me as the door closed behind me. A tall, thin, and slightly rumpled man smiled at me from behind the counter, his amber eyes weathered, but bright with intelligence and happiness.

"Hello. If you need anything, don't be shy." He told me, shuffling a small pile of books over and starting on a new one.

"Thank you." I replied, unbuttoning my coat as the warmth of the shop sunk into my chilled skin. I found myself drawn to the fiction section, running my fingers over the spines of the books. I had passed this store so many times in the past two months that I couldn't resist its pull anymore. I had always loved books, even before I could read. Books kept me company where my nonexistent siblings couldn't. Books stayed up late with me under the covers, spinning tales of bravery and adventure; everything a sheltered rich boy like myself dreamed of when they were growing up. And though I had become a teenager in an adult's body in every other aspect of life, there was still that part of me that absolutely adored books.

My parents and I had moved to Leicester just a month ago, making ourselves comfortable in our large apartment. The move took a long time, with me still completing my first term and my father wrapping up his affairs in London. I jumped into school just after first term, after the Holidays, and I missed being on break already. I walked past the book shop/coffee shop twice a day five times a week; when I walked to and from my school. Lunar Café. It looked cozy and welcoming, and I just couldn't resist anymore.

I smiled to myself as I came across a few that I considered personal classics: Lord of the Rings, Artemis Fowl and Eye of the World being a couple. I was contemplating a new book when the door flew open, the little bell ringing violently. A shorter, skinny boy with wild black hair burst into the shop, panting heavily.

"Remus, I'm so sorry I'm late!" He said, his face softened with apology. My angle gave me a perfect view of bright green eyes. That boy was bloody cute. The man at the counter softened, sighing at the boy.

"It's alright, Harry."

"The appointment was early this week, after what happened last week..."

"That's fine, really. Just let me know ahead of time in the future." The boy- Harry- nodded graciously and took off his jacket, the snow melting where it had fallen on his shoulders. He set up behind the coffee counter, washing his hands thoroughly. I bit my lip as Harry pinned his hair out of his bangs, revealing his large green eyes, black glasses and more of his pale skin. He rolled his sleeves up past his forearms and started cleaning mugs, blowing air out of his mouth and making his bottom lip pout a bit.

I felt a light thrill go through my body when he looked over at me, grinning sheepishly. He must have thought I was staring because of his abrupt entrance. I was… A bit. But I was staring mostly because he was so. Fucking. Attractive! He was a bit on the short side, but had long (for his height, anyway), nicely shaped arms and a lithe torso. And he really was handsome, with a cute nose and a strong jaw, and those fucking  _eyes_! I couldn't look away!

His boss, the man behind the counter (Remus?), walked over and bent down to speak to him, grinning when he pulled away. Harry looked up at me, and I flushed, looking away quickly and walking down the aisle, feigning interest in a nearby book.

It was exactly this that caused my family to move in the first place. I had been attending a prestigious school in London, and doing rather well. I had a close knit group of friends and excellent marks. Then I came out as gay. Most of my friends were fine with it; Pansy claimed to have known all along, Theo was Bi himself, Blaise didn't care as long as he could make jokes and Greg looked unaffected. Vincent Crabbe, however, rejected the idea completely and outed me to the rest of the school. The effect was violent. I was harassed, ignored, shoved and even beaten, until my father stepped in and pulled me out of the school. We moved away, my mother needing a break from city life and my father getting a new placement in his job. I was relieved, but struggling to adjust. My new school was very accepting, and most of the students were friendly, but things were very different from how I had been raised in the sense that everything was very laid back.

I dared a look back at the attractive boy as I walked to the end of the aisle, only to find him still looking at me. He smiled, and I blushed, looking away to hide my own smile. The smell of coffee mixed with the smell of books, making me feel warm. I touched a few other books, pulling one out every now and then to read the inside cover.

"Can I help you find anything?" I jumped and turned quickly, coming face to face with wide green eyes framed by round black glasses.

 

**HPDM HPDM HPDM**

_Shit, shit, shit, shit!_

I ran full tilt down the street, pausing to lean against a streetlight and catch my breath.

"Hello, Harry." A dreamy voice floated out of the shop I was standing near. I looked up to meet the eyes of my friend Luna, who was bringing the flowers from outside back into the store. Why they were outside in the first place was beyond me- they were covered in frost already. She worked in the curio shop, owned by the local fortune teller Madame Trelawney. I panted and raised a hand in a wave. "You're late again, huh? How's your mother?"

"She... she's good, thanks Luna." I managed to puff out. Luna smiled.

"That's good. She should eat more Vitamin D. It'll be good for her in the winter."  _Oh. Maybe I should pick up some vitamins tonight._

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." I replied genuinely.

"Madame says to keep your eyes open for ice." I looked ahead at the well- salted sidewalk in front of me.

"Uh... okay, sure. See you around." I took off running again, a bit slower this time.

"Bye, Harry!" After a few minutes, I burst into the book shop I worked at, panting desperately.

"Remus, I'm so sorry I'm late!" My godfather and boss smiled slightly in empathy.

"It's alright, Harry." I felt my throat tighten slightly.

"The appointment was early this week, after what happened last week..." Remus cut me off, subtly gesturing his head towards the bookshelves. There was a customer here.

"That's fine, really. Just let me know ahead of time in the future." I nodded and pulled my coat off, walking behind the coffee counter and putting my apron on.

I washed my hands and moved my hair out of the way, getting to work cleaning cups with a sigh. A short glance up at the customers confirmed my fears that people had been staring as I made eye contact with a teenage boy in the fiction section. I smiled shortly and went back to prepping, feeling embarrassed. He probably went to my school; probably spread rumors and gossip about me. I felt Remus looking at me, pausing in his work sorting out our new books. He walked over to me, leaning down to talk in my ear.

"That boy hasn't looked away from you since you walked in the store." I glanced at Remus as he pulled back, smirking at me. I looked over at the customer in the fiction section, and he looked away quickly, blushing. The boy carried on down the bookshelves, touching the spines absently. I tried to look away and focus on making coffee and cookies, but it was hard not to stare. He looked very classy, wearing a dark gray coat with a green scarf, his white blonde hair falling slightly into his face, which he brushed away with an elegant sweep of his hand.

He looked up again when he neared the end of the aisle, and blushed deeply when I smiled at him, turning away so I could only see his profile. He was smiling, but turned his attention back to the books. I bit my lip and leaned against the counter, watching the way he pulled the books out to read their covers. I still wasn't sure if I was gay, but Remus was, and I didn't have a problem with homosexuality. I also wasn't afraid to admit when someone is attractive.

"Hey, Harry. Why don't you go help him out?" Remus suggested quietly. I snapped to attention, nodding at my boss. I crept quietly over to him, not wanting to interrupt.

"Can I help you find anything?" The boy startled, turning to face me. He had fine features, light skin and piercing, heart-stopping eyes. They were molten silver, cloudy skies, with sharp, cutting, cold icy blue flecks. I lost my words for a moment, mesmerized by those  _eyes_. I had never seen eyes that that before, and they were… Well, they were beautiful. I suddenly remembered what Luna had told me, the words echoing in my head familiarly.

_Keep your eyes open for ice._


	2. Icy Cold Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco stumbles to make a good impression, and meets his potential competition? Also a little peek at the Malfoy family dynamics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is completely in Draco's POV. :)

I have selective social graces.

 

After stuttering pathetically, I grabbed a random book and held it up, grinning and mumbling, "Yep, that's the one... Ah, yep. Just gonna open those pages and turn the book. Gonna- yup." Before shuffling past the green-eyed, messy haired god before me. He was seriously gorgeous. I was blushing while I brought the book up to the counter, looking away quickly when Remus smirked at me.

 

"Have a good day." The older man laughed. I noticed a long white scar then went from just under his eye to his jawbone when he smiled, feeling a rush of guilt for staring.

 

"Uh, you too." I muttered, chastising myself internally.

 

"See you again!" The beautiful boy called after me, making me laugh nervously and almost walk into the door.

 

It turns out the book I had bought was a romantic drama about a boy who was accepting his sexuality. It was a huge change from the books I usually got, but I related really well to the character and the ending left a fuzzy feeling behind. It wasn't quite as satisfying as an action adventure novel, but I still really liked it. I found myself back in the little shop three days later, browsing the fiction section once again for something similar.

 

The second time I went, (I think his name was Harry?) _Harry_ was behind the coffee counter making a latte for some lady with a cashmere scarf and there was a boy with brown wavy hair behind the main desk. He smiled at me when I walked in, Harry being busy with the person he was making coffee for. I smiled back, moving to the fiction section and looking for books with the same author as the last book I bought. I snuck quick looks at the green-eyed beauty while I looked. God, he was beautiful. His hands were so careful as he worked, and his smile made my blood race.

 

“Excuse me.” A voice startled me out if my staring, a girl with curly brown hair brushing past me and reaching for a book.

 

“Sorry…” I muttered, looking back at the books. I found the author I was looking for and considered a few titles.

 

“Hey, don’t I go to school with you?” The girl beside me asked suddenly, closing the book she was looking at. I blinked, looking her over quickly.

 

“Uh, it’s possible?” I really wasn’t interested in talking to her; I just wanted her to leave so I could stare at my latest crush.

 

“We have Chemistry together. I’m Hermione.” Ah, yes. Know-it-all.

 

“Yeah, we do…”

 

“You transferred this year, right? How do you like it here? I just moved here for high school myself.”

 

“It’s different.” I admitted. “I went to a private school before. Things are a bit more relaxed here.”

 

“I bet you’re relieved for that, right? But I’m sure you miss your friends.”

 

“Er, yes…” She was beginning to irritate me, and was moving from innocently curious to pure nosiness.

 

“You’ll settle in no time. My friend Ginny has wanted to ask you to hang out some time. Maybe you could sit with us at lunch someday?” She smiled up at me expectantly. “Oh, but you probably don’t know who I’m talking about. Ginny Weasley. She has long red hair, captain of our girl’s football team…” I shrugged helplessly. Hermione waved her hand dismissively. “No matter. You can meet her, say, tomorrow? We can all sit together.” I opened my mouth to politely refuse, but Hermione cut me off, smiling happily. “Good! Our school is like one big family! You’ll fit right in, don’t worry!” She patted my shoulder and flounced away, leaving me speechless. Apparently I wasn’t remarkable when school first started _three fucking weeks ago_ but whatever it was about me that caught Hermione’s attention- Oh, bloody fuck. Maybe she was trying to set me up with the Weasley girl. I groaned, hitting my head against the nearest bookshelf. _Fuck_.

 

“Alright there?” I turned my head to meet bright green eyes, and felt my face heat up immediately.

 

“Oh, um... Yes. Yeah, I’m fine. How-um- How are you?” _Idiot._ I chastised myself internally, straightening up. I looked him over, reading his nametag which (thankfully) read Harry, with a coffee shaped sticker beside his name. Harry smiled up at me, shrugging. He had a towel in his hands, and was drying them slowly while he considered me.

 

“I’m good.” He slung the towel up on his shoulder, the movement wafting his scent towards me and for a moment all I could smell was soap and cinnamon. “My coworker and I thought you looked a bit distressed. The girl you were talking to- Hermione- She can be a bit much.” He grinned crookedly, and automatically became forty percent more attractive.

 

“I don’t really know her. I’m new here.” I scratched at my head nervously, and Harry nodded.

 

“I remember you. You came here just after the Holidays.” _Good god and all his fucking holiness, I go to_ school _with him??_

 

“Ah, yeah. My father got a job in the area.” I supplied. Harry brightened up, resting his hands on his hips and _motherfuck his hips are fucking-_

“That’s great! Well, I hope you like it here.” _Just starting to, love. God, that’s cheesy._

 

“Thanks.” We smiled at each other before he held out his hand, laughing embarrassedly.

 

“Wow, I almost forgot. My name’s Harry. It’s nice to meet you.” I shook his hand ( _Holy shit, I’m touching a god. Breathe, breathe…)_ and started to laugh as well, before biting my lip to stop the embarrassing noise.

 

“I-uh- I saw your nametag.” Harry looked down and blushed, rubbing his head awkwardly.

 

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.”

 

“That’s fine!” I assured him, maybe a bit too loudly. “Um, Draco. It’s nice to meet you too.” Harry smiled even more, his eyes crinkling.

 

“Draco? That’s a really cool name.” I chuckled again, fucking nervous laughter, and shrugged as he pulled his hand away.

 

“It’s after a constellation. It’s kind of a tradition in my family.” A brief, fascinated look crossed Harry’s face, his head tilting to the side adorably.

 

“Really? That’s wicked!” I blushed again, shuffling awkwardly.

 

“Uh, thanks.” I mumbled. Harry laughed.

 

“Sorry, I’m making things awkward, aren’t I?” I shrugged, smiling at him apologetically. “Would you like some tea? I’ll give you a free cup as a little ‘Welcome to the town’ gift.” I played with my hands and nodded.

 

“Yeah… That’d be great.” Harry smiled and turned around, heading back to his coffee station.

 

“Great! I have a few different kinds, you can choose-” I seriously would have been listening, but Harry had an ass and my eyes were thoroughly enjoying monitoring its slight bounce and flex as he walked. He was wearing black jeans as his uniform, followed by a white button up shirt and a black apron. His jeans were tight, showing off his long, skinny legs and his ass which was cute and perky and I kind of wanted to grab it. Fuck… “-Right?” I looked up when his ass disappeared from view, meeting Harry’s happy eyes and cute smile.

 

“Ah, yeah.” I stuttered awkwardly. Harry pursed his lips to hide a smile and moved behind his counter.

 

“I recommend the White Chai, but you look like an Earl Gray kind of man.” He considered me while he washed his hands. “Let me guess… A splash of milk and barely a teaspoon of sugar. You like it strong.” I blinked, very impressed.

 

“That’s incredible. How did you know that?” Harry grinned, shuffling slightly.

 

“It’s one of my hidden talents. I have an appreciation for hot drinks, and pride myself in knowing what kind of people like what in their teas and coffee.” He flashed a smile before bending down to pull out a box of teabags. Fuck, his fucking ass. Bloody fucking hell. I watched him carefully pick out a bag, and placing it in a paper cup, then putting a kettle on to heat back up. He put the perfect amount of sugar in and turned to face me again, a wet cloth in his hand that he used to wipe down his workspace. “You’ve got an accent.” He remarked. “Where are you from, London?” I smiled and nodded, leaning carefully against his counter.

 

“Yeah, in Chelsea.” He looked surprised, his eyes widening behind his glasses. “My father works in the government.” I explained vaguely. “You seem to lack a Leicester accent.” I pointed out. I found the accent rather entertaining, some of them living up to their nickname- Chizzets.

 

“I’m actually from Bristol.” He moved over to the kettle when it started squeaking. “I moved here at the beginning of the year.” That piqued my interest. He seemed to have settled well.

 

“Can I ask why?” I wondered politely. Harry froze while pouring the water for my tea, his free hand clenching on the counter.

 

“I’d… Rather you not.” He said softly, smiling at me. I knew masks well, having grown up with politics. Harry’s wasn’t as good as what I was used to.

 

“No problem.” I relieved him, smiling to apologise. “Any tips for adjusting to our school?” Harry smiled again, this time genuinely, and poured a bit of milk in my tea before stirring it.

 

“I’m afraid I won’t be any help there. I’m not very popular.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “Just be yourself.” He smiled at me and handed me my tea, our fingers brushing and causing me to almost drop my tea. “You can bring that with you to the books if you promise not to make a mess. My boss would have my head.” Harry grinned crookedly at me again.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m a careful person.” He chuckled lightly, making me shiver.

 

“I thought so.” I smiled at him and went back to where I was looking, biting my lip to stop smiling. He was CUTE, and SWEET and FLIRTY and _HOLY SHIT_ I might actually have a chance! I hadn’t dated anyone since Theo and I tried and failed at a relationship. Sure, there had been attraction between us, but we didn’t connect emotionally any further than friends. I found the author I was looking for originally and picked a book, feeling hopeful and happy. I heard the bell to the shop ring in the distance and made my way over to the counter, placing the book down gently.

 

“Excuse me.” I said quietly, not wanting to disturb the boy who was sorting. He looked up, his hazel eyes scanning me quickly. “Sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt.” His nametag said _Neville_ , followed by a hand-drawn happy face.

 

“This is my job.” He laughed, pushing the books aside. “Just the one?” I nodded and fished out my wallet while he scanned it. I left a tip, thanking the wavy-haired boy before turning to leave the shop.

 

I also have horrible luck.

 

There was a girl with long blonde hair at the coffee counter, wearing a denim skirt and bright neon leggings, bundled up in an orange coat. She was talking quietly to Harry.

 

Holding his hand.

 

Touching his arm with her other hand.

 

Patting his cheek lightly.

 

**_Fuck._ **

****

I felt my face warm up, a sudden wave of self-loathing coming over me. Of _course_ he’s straight. _Of fucking course_ he has a girlfriend! That’s just my fucking luck. Good job, Draco. Brilliant! Pick the doubly unattainable man! Just fucking go for it! You stupid idiot! I shook myself lightly, frowning at the unwarranted hurt that settled in my gut. He wasn’t really even flirting with me, I guess, just being friendly to the new boy. How deluded am I?

 

I left the store quickly, biting the inside of my cheek to quell my disappointment. Why did I think it would be so easy?

 

How could I let myself get carried away?

 

**HPDM HPDM HPDM**

 

I picked at my food that night, my mother looking pointedly between my father and myself as though she thought I wouldn’t notice. My father cleared his throat after having a silent argument with my mother which I clearly saw through my peripheral vision. It was complete with fork-stabs at my father.

 

“How was your day, Draco?” He asked, his voice controlled.

 

“It was alright. My maths teacher seems to like me, and I was asked to join a group for lunch.” I replied noncommittally.

 

“That’s wonderful, Draco.” My mother chirped, lasering my father with another glare.

 

“Ah, yes. That’s good.” He echoed. We were quiet again, my mother continuing to eat and scowling at my father while I mixed my corn and potatoes together. “Er, well, Draco… Is something bothering you?” As much as my father was supportive of my sexuality, he really wasn’t interested in my feelings or affairs.

 

“No, father. May I be excused?” I asked, avoiding the question. My father nodded his head and I cleared my plate, scraping the remains into the trash before retiring to my room. It wasn’t long before my mother followed me, sitting beside me where I laid on my bed.

 

“Draco, love, what’s wrong?” I sighed, ignoring when she started petting my hair.

 

“I met a boy.” I replied softly. Mother gasped.

 

“Oh, really? Are you worried about your father, dear? He loves you very much and you know he has no issue with your sexuality.”

 

“No, I know that.” I cut her off, biting my lip. “I think he’s straight.” My mother was quiet a moment, not quite used to these problems either.

 

“Well, darling, there will be other boys.” She stammered, still petting my hair.

 

“I know, mother.” I couldn’t help the next part, which just leapt out of my mouth before I could stop it. “But he’s so sweet…” She smiled knowingly.

 

“Is he handsome?” I blushed a bit, but nodded. “Oh, my love. He’s just a boy. You’ll find someone, Draco. Don’t worry.”

 

“I…” I paused, chewing my lip hesitantly. This was my mother, though. I could tell her anything. “I feel lonely.” I whispered. My mother’s hand paused in my hair, but continued to my shoulder, where she rubbed soothingly.

 

“You’re handsome, smart and very charming, Draco. Trust me when I say you will find someone when the time is right.” She squeezed my shoulder and stood up, pausing at my door again. “There are some leftovers in the fridge for you if you get hungry later on. Don’t stay up too late, okay?” I nodded, playing with my sheets absently. My mother sighed and closed the door behind her.

 

“Is he alright?” I heard my father ask in the hallway.

 

“He’ll be okay, Lucius. It’s boy stuff.”

 

“I understand boy stuff. He could have spoken to me.” My father said indignantly.

 

“No, dear. _Boy_ stuff.” I rolled my eyes, rolling over so I wasn’t facing the door.

 

“Oh… Well, he still could have told me. I’m not about to burst into flames because he has a thing for a boy. He knows I don’t care!”

 

“Calm down, Lucius. He just needs some alone time.”

 

Funny. I needed the opposite.

 

**HPDM HPDM HPDM**

I was sitting by myself at a table in the school’s cafeteria with a book in my hand, just the way I liked it, when someone plopped themselves into the chair across from me. I looked up, my best scowl on my face, which I almost lost when I realized who it was.

 

Bright green t-shirt, light blue long-sleeved shirt underneath, a necklace with a clay carrot resting just at her chest, small sparkly earrings in turtle shapes and long curly blonde hair pulled to the side of her head in a messy braid. The outfit was complete with a pink bandana tied around her head.

 

“Hello.” Her voice was soft and floaty, and made me feel like I was on some kind of slow drug.

 

“Hello.” I repeated curtly. She smiled at me.

 

“I’m Luna Lovegood. You must be Draco Malfoy. Harry told me about you.” No hand was extended towards me; just her gray eyes looking into my own. I bit the inside of my cheek and buried my face in my book.

 

“That’s nice. It’s nice to meet you.” It would be _nice_ if you would _nicely_ leave like the _nice_ person I’m sure you are.

 

“I saw you the other day at the shop, but we didn’t get to speak. Harry has been having a hard time lately, but of course, it isn’t my place to speak of Harry’s business.” I slowly let my book rest on the tabletop. No gossip? No rumors? Miss Lovegood wasn’t like the other teenagers here. It was almost… refreshing. “You don’t have to guard yourself with me. I’m very open-minded.” I blinked.

 

“Guard?” Luna nodded.

 

“You have a shield you put up to defend yourself. Like… Like a mask.” She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the tabletop. “It’s really rather strong, but I’m learning how to read people from an expert. Most people can’t get past me.” I smirked amusedly.

 

“Alright then, read me.” I challenged. Luna smiled and looked deeply at me, especially at my eyes and my face.

 

“You come from a family of wealth.” She said.

 

“Too obvious.” I denied. “My clothes are expensive and it shows.” She pursed her lips slightly, but her eyes stayed wide and content.

 

“Your father is the breadwinner of your family, and puts a lot of pressure on you in terms of your future.” I considered this, but still didn’t buy it.

 

“That’s common in wealthy families.”

 

“You have a deep and everlasting love for books.” Luna tried, looking at the book on the table. I quickly flipped it so she couldn’t see the title, just in case.

 

“You first saw me in a book shop, and I have one right here.” I smiled as I held the book up, and Luna grinned widely.

 

“You are close with your parents…” She began.

 

“Aren’t most people?” I rebutted. She smiled again.

 

“You didn’t let me finish.” I humored her, gesturing towards her with my hand. “You’re close with your parents, but you didn’t necessarily have a happy childhood.” I breathed in sharply. “You’re lonely.” She whispered. “You have been for years. Even with a large group of close friends. You’ve smiled a lot, but not for real. You’ve laughed a lot, but you never truly felt it. You’ve felt a lot of grief, sorrow and self doubt, and it sits deep in your core.” I was hardly breathing when she went quiet again, looking sadly at me. “Though you know you’re intelligent and courteous, you constantly feel as though you’re not good enough.” We were quiet for a moment, and then I huffed quietly.

 

“Every teenager feels like that sometimes.” I argued. Luna’s eyes softened.

 

“You also had a stuffed tiger growing up. His name was Sam.” That one took me off guard.

 

“Samuel.” I corrected, before cursing myself. Luna grinned triumphantly.

 

“But you called him Sam.” She insisted. I caved.

 

“Alright, fine. You’ve got me.” She laughed lightly, a happy sound that made me smile. We sat in comfortable silence before I admitted quietly, “And you may have been right about the other things, too.” Harry’s girlfriend or not, I still really liked her. She was kind and refreshing, and although she seemed a little wacky, she was good company. I wasn’t any less jealous, however, and the fact that she was lovely didn’t help at all.

**HPDM HPDM HPDM**

 

The third time I went to Lunar Café was a few days after I sat with Hermione and her gaggle of friends, including the Weasley girl, Ginny. To say the least, they were quite obnoxious. Though they were a diverse group, a mix up of brainy kids and jocks, they were all brain-numbingly immature that I felt like a toddler by the time class started. I declined Hermione’s offer when she asked me a second time. My parents were acting like freaks, my mother asking me if I had made any new friends, and my father awkwardly bringing up homosexuality in every way he could to attempt to communicate just how okay he was with it.

 

Luna didn’t approach me anymore after the one day we sat together, and I think it had to do with how Hermione told me I didn’t want to be seen with ‘Loony’ Luna Lovegood. Of course, I ignored her. Popularity meant nothing to me. It was all rather childish if you ask me, and I never approved of any kind of bullying, especially after what I went through. I never saw Harry in school, even though I kept my eyes open for him every day, looking between classes and at lunch. Wherever he hid, I wanted in. It must be peaceful.

 

My only saving grace was when I could find a quiet place to read while I ate my lunch, digging into the book I got from the store the other day. Though it made me a bit sad to read about how happy the couple was, I found myself loving the author the more I read his books. In this book, it was less about the couple and more about everyday life and struggles, focusing less on the gayness of the characters and more on their personalities and relationships.

 

I quickly finished it, and fiercely wanted the sequel, where the couple was planning on adopting. It was one day after that that I finally got the courage to return to Lunar Café.

 

I walked in, my objective being to retain my pride, get the book and completely ignore Harry and his motherfucking, heart-crushing, rage-inducing, hair-tuggingly frustrating heterosexuality. As soon as the bell at the top of the door rang, Harry looked up at me from where he was standing just outside the coffee booth, tying his apron.

 

“Oh! Hi, Draco! I’m just about to put some scones in the oven.” He walked around his counter, washing his hands. “They’re a new recipe; butterscotch and white chocolate. Would you like one?” He grinned crookedly, beautifully, and I felt my heart and mask melt away.

 

I was a fucking goner.


	3. It's Just Puppy Love!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet Remus and Sirius, get a peek into Harry's life and Draco and Harry become friends for real?

**Draco**

 

I arrived earlier than I meant to one Sunday, having spent so much time at the shop that I knew Harry’s schedule. He worked almost every day of the week except for Mondays and Wednesdays, starting right after school and working until eight, when the shop closed. On Saturdays he worked nine to five, and ten to six on Sundays. And I didn’t get all this information by stalking him, thank you very much, we were friends now, and though I liked being his friend, I couldn’t help but want more.

 

As I was saying, one Sunday, I was once again in the fiction section, this time looking for one of my usual fantasy novels. The shop owner, and one of Harry’s godparents, Remus was looking through their latest sales with his rectangle framed glassed slipped down his nose. He was just as friendly as Harry was, which only strengthened the argument of the fact that Harry was merely friendly, and not flirty, and that his was a trait learned from his family. We were on good terms, as I was a regular customer and getting closer to Harry, but we rarely spoke past what new books he was planning on buying or what upgrades could be made to the building.

 

I brought my new find to the counter, a book about dragon slayers, and Remus grinned up at me as I approached.

 

“This is quite a change from your usual.” He commented, clearing his counter to ring it through. I felt myself flush.

 

“Actually, the ones I was buying before were a change from my usual. I have a thing for fantasy and adventure. I like the action.” Remus nodded thoughtfully.

 

“I see…” He considered the book, before setting it aside. “May I suggest a novel? A bit of a change from medieval mystical creatures?” I nodded, always eager for new books.

 

“Absolutely. I’m open-minded.” Remus smiled, his eyes softening.

 

“Quite.” He murmured, and stood up, leading me to the fiction section. “You may enjoy this one.” He pulled a fair sized book out of the shelf and handed it to me. I looked down at the cover, touching its spine.

 

“The Year of Our War?” I read. “It’s about angels?” I asked, looking up at Remus. He smiled, showing that scar once again.

 

“Is it?” He asked mysteriously, returning to the front counter. I looked down at the book and followed him, placing it on the counter. Remus smiled and rang it through, handing me a bag, but not putting the book in, knowing I preferred to start reading in the shop, often with a latte in hand. Speaking of lattes…

 

“Where’s Harry?” I asked, trying to remain casual. I wanted to share my new book with him.

 

“He doesn’t start until ten today.” Remus reminded me. “He likes to spend Sunday mornings with-” He cut himself off, biting his lip. “Uh, nevermind.” I suspected his girlfriend, and felt myself droop a bit. “Why do you ask?” I immediately blushed, looking down. “You fancy him, don’t you?” I looked up in shock and embarrassment. Was I that obvious?

 

“N-no! He’s a boy, and-” Remus cut me off, looking amused.

 

“I can see your pin, Draco.” I self-consciously covered the small pin on my satchel. Pansy had bought it for me as a gift after I came out to show her support. It was blue, and had the outline of a man on it with a male symbol on his chest. “And I assure you that I don’t care. I live above the shop with my partner.” He smiled at my surprised look. “Yes, the awkward little shopkeep is gay. Harry’s parents gave my partner and I the honor of being his godparents. We were close friends growing up.” I relaxed, suddenly feeling more comfortable and respectful towards Remus. “Harry doesn’t mind either.” He said pointedly, making me blush again.

 

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t really matter does it?” I nearly snapped. “He’s dating that girl Luna.” I was introduced one day by Harry, who smiled at her as much as he did at me, only he hugged her and ruffled her hair affectionately, something he has yet to do with me. Yes, I was jealous, okay? But she was actually a lovely girl. He laughed when we told him how we met at school. As I chatted more with her, I found myself liking her more. I just wish she hadn’t stolen Harry.

 

" _Luna!?_ ” Remus exclaimed, and then burst into loud, uncontrollable laughter. “He's single! He and Luna are just close friends!" I blushed deeper, running a hand through my hair and looking away.

 

"Oh, um...” Reus tried futilely to stop laughing, and I covered up my embarrassment by scowling. “Well it certainly looked like they were dating, all the giggling and touching.” I sniffed. “I doubt he'd be into me anyways. I kind of have a 'never fall for straight boys' rule." I explained. Remus’ face softened again, a gentle laugh escaping him.

 

“Draco, I really don’t think that Harry is straight. I love my godson, and I keep his secrets, but it’s really not a secret.” He sighed, leaning forward on one hand. “He tries to be straight because he wants to have one thing that makes him normal, but I can almost guarantee that he’s as straight as you are.” So, maybe I _do_ have a chance… I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest.

 

“I don’t know, Remus. I’d rather hear it from him. It’s not that I don’t trust you.” I assured him. “But if he does have interest in me, I want to hear it from him.” Remus nodded.

 

“Alright then. I’ll drop some hints for you, though. I think it would be good for him to accept himself. He gets lonely.” A wave of empathy washed over me.

 

“I know how it feels.” I murmured. Remus stared at me for a long moment, then looked down at the clock on his desk.

 

“He’ll be here soon. Why don’t you go make yourself comfortable?” I found my usual spot and started on my new book, unzipping my coat to be more comfortable. I looked up eagerly when the bells on the front door rang.

 

**HPDM HPDM HPDM**

**Harry**

 

 

I brushed snow off my shoulder and stomped my feet before entering the shop, tugging my coat off and making my way to the coffee counter. I didn’t have the energy to greet Remus, whose worried look I could feel at the back of my head. I felt dizzy and shaky, bracing myself against the counter after I straightened up from getting my apron.

 

“Harry?” Remus asked cautiously.

 

“I’m fine.” I insisted before he could get to lecturing me. I pinned my hair and reached down for the kettle, stumbling when I stood up again. My ears rang for a moment, my vision blurring. I shut my eyes tightly and ignored Remus’ muffled voice whispering urgently at me.

 

“ _Stop_ , Harry.” He moved the empty kettle away when I reached for it, my hearing going back to normal. His voice had an edge to it, and I felt his hand on my elbow, steadying me.

 

“I’m fine, really. Don’t make a scene.” Remus grumbled under his breath.

 

“I’ll make a scene as much as I want. I can tell when you’re not eating, Harry. What did we tell you?” His voice rose near the end, and I sighed, letting him hold me up.

 

“I would have been late.” I argued. “I really need this week.” I looked pleadingly at Remus, and he searched my face, frowning. I knew I looked bad. I had been more focused this week, spending more time with medication and therapy than on taking care of myself. I needed to do it though, it was important.

 

“I thought your aunt and uncle were paying for all the medical things.”

 

“They are, but I need to pitch in as well-” Remus’ eyes darkened, and my blood went cold. Remus can be scary when he wants to.

 

“Are you telling me that they’re making you pay for food?” He growled. I shook, my nervousness overpowering my control of my trembles.

 

“Just for next week. I was slacking. My grades went down a bit last term.” Remus sighed in disgust and let go of my elbow, rubbing my shoulder with his other hand.

 

“Next week, Harry. But that’s _it_. If this happens again, you’re moving in with me. Understand?” I nodded, and Remus grasped the back of my neck affectionately. “Eat something before you start. Siri will make you a sandwich if you go upstairs.”

 

“I don’t want to bug him-”

 

“ _Harry_.” He warned.

 

“Okay, okay.” I exited my coffee booth and started towards the back of the shop, where the spiral stairs that led to my godparents’ apartment was. I found Draco sitting in a cushy chair with his face in a book. “Draco.” I said happily, my stomach fluttering. Draco was the fourth friend I’ve ever made, and probably the most awkward, even more so than Neville. He startled, almost dropping his book.

 

“Harry!” He replied in kind, folding the front cover over to keep his page. “How are you?” He looked me over, a small crease appearing between his eyebrows. “You look a bit pale.” I smiled sheepishly, rubbing my head nervously.

 

“Ah, I skipped breakfast.” _And yesterday’s lunch, as well as breakfast, and the day before that’s dinner, as well as breakfast… I should probably shut up now._

“That’s no good…” Oh, he looked sad. I felt bad, and bit my lip slightly.

 

“Yeah, but I’m going upstairs to get a bite to eat before I start. Uh, want to come with me?” Draco looked surprised, and a bit pleased, but he shook his head no. “Okay. See you in a bit.” I waved shyly and walked up the stairs, catching Draco looking at me before he went back to his book. Draco was really handsome, and his eyes were brilliant. It was kind of distracting. He had taken to hanging out with me while I worked, and though I really enjoyed having him around, I felt a bit guilty. I felt like I was taking time out of what was really important. But I couldn’t- didn’t want to stop.

 

I was tired by the time I got to Remus and Siri’s apartment, and had to lean against the wall to catch my breath and try not to fall over. _Note to self: try to get at least some sugar in your system before work._ The door to their apartment was open a crack, and I pushed it open.

 

“Harry!” Sirius called fondly from the floor, a ferret draped over his shoulders. He worked at an animal shelter across town, and sometimes brought home the animals that needed a bit of extra attention. He was a licensed veterinarian, but couldn’t find a job in a vet’s office, but I think he’s happier working with animals who need to be adopted.

 

“Hey, Siri.” I smiled weakly, flopping down on the floor beside him. “Who’s this?” I moved closer to look at the little guy, who was mostly white with brown patches.

 

“Marshy.” Sirius gently scratched his rump, making him kick his legs. “He’s got a bit of a cold. Are you okay, Harry? You look pale.” Sirius’ hand was suddenly pressed to my forehead, and I rolled my eyes.

 

“Remus sent me up here for a sandwich.” I said embarrassedly. Sirius shot me a severe look.

 

“You’ve gotten thinner. I can see it in your face. Are you not eating again, Harry? What did we _tell_ you?”

 

“I know. I just- I don’t really want to talk about it right now, okay?” Sirius pressed his lips together and passed me Marshy, moving over to the small kitchen and pulling a few things out of the fridge.

 

“The next time I hear about this, I’m going straight to your uncle’s house-”

 

“Sirius, no-”

 

“Smacking that whale right upside the face-”

 

“Siri-”

 

“Grabbing everything you own and bringing you _home_.” He turned to look at me, flushed with anger. “I’ve had enough of this, no matter how good Lily thought it would be for you. _We’re_ your godparents; you should be with _us_ , where we can take _care_ of you!” I stroked Marshy’s head while Sirius made me a sandwich, feeling guilty. “I know this isn’t your fault or responsibility, but you really should stick up for yourself, Harry.”

 

“It might be rough next week, but it’ll be fine after that.” I dropped my voice down to a whisper when Siri joined me, his bare feet padding against the floor. “I just want to be with mum.” I swallowed when my voice cracked. “Just for the last bit.” Siri sucked in a breath, sitting down beside me with his legs crossed. He traded me my sandwich for the ferret, rolling it over on his lap and rubbing its belly.

 

“She’s not doing well, then?” I shook my head. Sirius rubbed my knee, squeezing the knobby joint. I let him comfort me and murmur to the ferret while I ate, trying to stop the shaking in my hands.

 

“What time is it?” I asked when I was almost finished with the second half of my sandwich.

 

“It’s…” Sirius dragged out the ‘s’ and skipped across the apartment, Marshy comfortably draped across his shoulders again. “Nine-fifty. You should go down soon.” I wolfed down the last bit of what I was eating, getting to my feet and placing the plate in the sink. Sirius enveloped me in a big hug when I turned around, and I let myself be held, resting my head on his chest. I missed hugs. I missed being here. “I know you don’t want to hear this, Harry,” Sirius whispered. _No, no, no. Don’t ruin it, Siri, please!_ “But maybe it’s time to let her go.” A large lump lodged its way into my throat, my eyes stinging. “You’ve been so strong, pup. But I really think it’s time.” I shook my head against his chest, widening my eyes so my tears wouldn’t get on my glasses. “I know it’s hard.” Siri’s voice went rough. “Trust me, I know it is.” He pulled back and held my face, wiping my tears and ruffling my hair. I let him, whereas I would usually pull away and remind him that I’m not six anymore.

 

“I don’t want to. I’m not ready.” His expression softened, and he hugged me again, rubbing my back.

 

“Okay, Harry. It’s okay.” I pulled away, wiping at my face shamefully. I was strong. I had to be.

 

“Sorry.” I mumbled. “Thanks for the sandwich. I’ll see you later.” He followed me to the door, his face drawn with sorrow.

 

“We love you, Harry. Don’t forget that.” I smiled at my godfather, nodding slightly.

 

“I know. I love you too.” I hesitated, glancing downstairs. “See you later.”

 

“Don’t push yourself too hard, pup. I’ll come down and visit later on, okay?” I nodded again, wiping under my eyes to make sure there were no more noticeable tears.

 

“How do I look?” I asked Sirius. He looked at me for a long while, a sad sort of smile meeting his lips.

 

“Like a man.” He answered. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

 

Draco was still sitting and reading when I walked downstairs, that little crease between his eyebrows again. I wanted to press my thumb against it and smooth it out. My hands were shoved in my pockets to quell the urge. I slipped by quietly, knowing his type, like Remus, didn’t like to be disturbed while reading. Remus smiled at me when I passed the front counter, and I returned it shyly, putting the kettle on to boil. I made Draco’s usual latte, one sugar and some mint syrup at the bottom. He told me he liked the icy shock at the end the first time I made it for him. I used cream to make a quick feather design on top that I was rather proud of. He looked up quickly when I brought it to him, setting it beside him on the little table.

 

“Thanks.” He said softly, looking down at it. “Is it a feather?” He asked. I loved making shapes on the foam of the drinks. Customers were always impressed by how detailed I could get. I grinned and shuffled shyly.

 

“Yeah. Thought I’d try something new.” I watched him take a sip, his eyes falling shut.

 

“God, that’s good.” Draco whispered, licking foam off his top lip. I smiled, feeling my chest puff proudly.

 

“Thanks.” I laughed, going to rub my head before moving my hands to my pockets again. Draco smiled up at me and set his drink down, holding his new book up.

 

“Look what Remus suggested for me.” I took the book, careful to keep his place. “It’s about immortals and a war with giant bugs. How cool is that?” I smiled and looked down at Draco’s bright eyes. I loved that look. I loved that kind of look on anyone. Knowing someone had something that made them happy made me happy. Whether it was through a book, or a coffee, I always wanted to give people that look in their eyes. That’s what Lunar Café was about. That’s what I was about. Making people happy. I handed Draco his book back, my heart sinking when I thought of my mother.

 

“I hope you enjoy it.” I said sincerely, softly. Draco smiled wider and went back to reading. I bit my lip and stopped myself from squeezing his shoulder, not sure if he was the kind of friend who liked physical affection. Neville and Luna were, allowing hugs and pats when they were especially content. I liked it too, but mostly just with family. I sighed and pulled out the ingredients for my first batch of biscuits, washing my hands and getting started without really thinking about it. My mind wandered, thinking about dinner tonight, how I needed to stop by the grocery and pick up eggs… Maybe some granola bars to keep myself on my feet during the day. The bells startled me and I smiled up at the customer that wandered in, washing my hands so they were free to make their coffee.

 

**HPDM HPDM HPDM**

**Draco**

 

 

I closed the book after a few chapters in, checking my watch. I had been here a few hours already, and I had barely spoken to Harry! This book was just so good; I couldn’t stop reading. I _adored_ books like that, where you get so lost that nothing else exists, nothing but you and the story. I stood up and stretched, groaning quietly and picking up my empty cup. Maybe I’d get a refill for my walk home. It was still pretty chilly out there. I followed my nose over to Harry’s coffee counter, pointedly ignoring Remus winking at me. Good god, what did he say while I was in the zone? Harry straightened up from his little oven, a tray of cinnamon buns in his gloved hands.

 

“Hey there.” He greeted, smiling. “I thought we lost you. You were pretty deeply into that book.” I flushed, and shrugged.

 

“It’s a good book. You work here; surely you get absorbed in books sometimes?” I defended myself. Harry scratched behind his head when he pulled his oven mitt off, a regular habit of his.

 

“Every now and then, yeah.” He waved his mitts over the buns, helping them cool faster. Harry noticed me eyeing them and smirked. “Want one? I’m putting icing on them once they cool down a bit.” I almost drooled. They looked gooey and delicious and ohhh yeahhh…

 

“Yes, definitely.” I leaned against his counter, laughing when he shooed me away to wipe it down. “You should get some bar stools here so people can sit and chat.” Harry looked up at me slyly.

 

“You mean so you can sit and chat?” I wrinkled my nose.

 

“Is there something wrong with that? My back aches like an old man’s from bending down to your short level.” Harry giggled _ADORABLY_ and tapped my nose with his index finger.

 

“I’m not short! And I enjoy your company.” He blushed and turned away, checking the temperature of the buns with the side of his hand. He hummed thoughtfully and grabbed a spatula, moving them onto his cutting board. He faced me again with a big bowl in his hand, stirring it slowly. He held out the spoon for me. “Taste.” I stuck out a finger and he drizzled a bit of icing on it, like he usually did. I often tested new recipes of his. I popped my finger in my mouth, looking at him in consideration.

 

“It’s sweeter than you usually make it.” His eyes narrowed in worry.

 

“Is it too sweet? I put less sugar in the dough this time. I wanted to make a cream cheese icing. Can you taste it?” I sucked on my tongue, looking to the side so Harry’s face wouldn’t distract me.

 

“Yeah, I can taste it. That’ll taste good if the buns aren’t too sweet.” Harry looked comforted, turning back to the cinnamon buns.

 

“Okay. I’ll let you try one before I do the rest.” He spread a fair amount of frosting on top and handed it to me with a napkin, leaning forward eagerly when I took a bite. I felt a bit self-conscious when eating near him at first, but Harry was so eager to please with his food that I quickly got used to being his sampler. Even if it meant I had to work out more to work off all the sugar.

 

“Mm,” I groaned slightly before I could stop myself. “No, I think you should just give them to me.” I said jokingly. Harry froze before his face melted into a grin, scoffing at me.

 

“Oh, stop! You already got a free one.” I sent him an incredulous look.

 

“No, Harry!” I insisted. “Let me pay for my food, god damn it!” He shook his head, smirking shyly.

 

“Nuh-uh. You’re my sampler. I can’t have you pay for samples.” I glared half-heartedly at him, biting into my bun again.

 

“You try some.” I ripped off a chunk and offered it to him, surprised when he leaned forward and bit it out of my hand. _Oh, Christ… Think of really unsexy things… Fuck, his teeth grazing my fingers… God, Harry is the worst of sins._

“Mm, okay, that’s not bad.” He said to himself, turning to frost the other ones. I watched his tongue slip out to lick at the side of his mouth, and I bit down on my lip to stop from moaning. God, he was so _hot_ and _cute_. “What time do you have to be home?” He asked suddenly, looking concerned. I glanced at my watch again.

 

“I should go home soon.” I answered regrettably. “But I’ll see you tomorrow…?” I wanted to see him at school, too. Harry sighed, pushing his glasses up with the heel of his hand.

 

“I don’t know, Draco…”

 

“I’ve looked for you.” I said quietly, not wanting Remus to overhear us. Harry paused, looking over at me. A bit of his hair fell from where he pinned it back and I wanted to tuck it back. I slipped my hands beneath my thighs. “I… Are we friends?” He looked surprised.

 

“Well… I consider you my friend.” He put down the knife he had been using and played with his hands, rubbing them on his apron. He peeked up at me, his mouth turning down in a little frown. I grinned.

 

“I do, too. I just wasn’t sure.” Harry bit his lip, the corner of his mouth twitching happily.

 

“I don’t want to ruin things for you, Draco. You’ve just started here and you don’t need me ruining secondary school for you. I like hanging out with you, and I like being friends with you, but-” I felt my eyebrows pull together.

 

“What are you- What would you ruin?” Harry’s hands twitched, and he tucked them behind his back carefully.

 

“People don’t like me at school. They think I’m strange, and they tell stories.” I huffed. Fucking bullies.

 

“Do I look like the kind of person who would care about that shit?” Harry blushed darkly and shook his head jerkily. “Good, because I don’t. I don’t care about the Weasley’s or Granger, or being popular, okay? I stopped caring about that fuckery a while ago.” Harry nodded, and I nodded to myself. “I want to be your friend _all_ the time. Not just after school.” I saw him smile before he brushed a hand across his face, wiping the look away.

 

“Okay.” He said quietly.

 

“And tell Luna that I don’t care what the bastards say; if she wants to sit with me at lunch then she damn well can.” He let out a short laugh, nodding again.

 

“Okay.” He repeated. “Thanks, Draco.” I smiled and pulled out the money for my earlier latte, along with enough for a refill and the cinnamon bun.

 

“Can I bug you for a refill?” I asked, handing him my cup. Harry grinned and took my cup, filling it up the way I liked it, his face going smooth and serious as he made the design on top with cream and a toothpick. He handed it to me with the lid off, a pleased smile on his lips. This time it was a tree, the leaves intricate swirls. I grinned up at him, and he laughed softly, looking away with pink cheeks. I gently lidded my drink and left the money on the counter. “Sit with me tomorrow?” I asked eagerly. He sighed again, nibbling his lip, but nodded slightly. I smiled and did up my coat, slinging my bag over my shoulder. “See you tomorrow, then.”

 

“See you tomorrow.” He said decisively. I was just about to leave when he called after me, “Oh, Draco! You left extra here!” He held up some money and I waved him off.

 

“Keep it as a tip.” I insisted, closing the shop door behind me. As I passed the windows, I looked back to see Harry smiling to himself, putting the change in a cup beside his cash till.

 

Even in the cold walk home, I felt warm right down to my toes.

 

**HPDM HPDM HPDM**

**Draco**

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply through my nose, trying desperately to ignore the annoying prattling from the utter _children_ beside me, who were raving about some football game next week that Ginny was bound to win. I sighed and started the paragraph I was reading over again, having been distracted by the loud group at the table next to mine. They went quiet suddenly, which was much more distracting after their shouting and guffawing.

 

“What’s _he_ doing here?” Ginny asked snidely, catching my attention and causing me to look up. I would stick up for a stranger if needed. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; I HATE bullies.

 

“I didn’t know he still went here.” Hermione said, cuddling close to the male redhead, Ronald. He was sneering across the cafeteria.

 

“He looks so dumb, like a lost child.” Ron said, making those at their table laugh. I wrinkled my nose at them and followed Ronald’s gaze, my heart flipping when they connected with their target.

 

Standing at the cafeteria doors, in clothes much too big and wringing his hands nervously, was Harry. I smiled when I saw him, looking awkward and embarrassed and _good lord_ , so cute I thought I was going to pass out. He swayed from foot to foot, looking around. _Looking for me!_ I realised with a warm jolt in my stomach. His uniform looked old and baggy, and he plucked nervously at his tie. I felt a tap on my arm and turned to look at Hermione, who was resting her hand on my arm.

 

“See that boy at the doors? That’s the kind you want to stay away from. He and Luna are total freaks. Not the sort of people you want to be seen with.” She smiled at me, like she was doing me a favour.

 

“You disgust me.” I told her. “I bet you hardly know him.” I stood, brushing my arm where she touched me, and collected my things. Their group was staring at me with various looks of shock on their faces. “I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks.” I nodded in their general direction, and made my way to the cafeteria doors. Harry smiled at me when he saw me, looking a bit scared and very out of place.

 

“Hullo,” He said softly in greeting. “I thought you weren’t here for a moment.” I grinned at him, loving the light flush on his cheekbones.

 

“I’m here.” We looked at each other for a short moment, and I smiled widely. “How about you show me where it is you hide all lunch?” I suggested. Harry chuckled and tugged at my sleeve.

 

“Alright then. Follow me.” I ignored the outrage at the table I left behind, focusing instead on the thin legs in front of me, holding a shy body with curved shoulders and a messy mop of midnight hair that I wished to bury my face in.

 

I was definitely done for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there's a big break between chapters, guys. I like to have the chapter that comes next done before I post and sometimes it takes a while.  
> The next chapter is longer than usual!


	4. Let's Go To The Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peek into Harry's home life, movie night with the group and Draco has a talk with his father. Enjoy!

_“Oh_ , _touch me...”_ A soft voice panted into my ear, a long body writhing against me. “ _Draco!_ ” He moaned when I complied, my hand running up a smooth length and mouth tracing up his neck.

_“Harry,”_ I chuckled, moaning when his hips rocked against mine, brushing my own erection, which was straining against my trousers.

_“Dray... Mm...”_ He tasted divine, and I sucked softly at his pulse point, blood hammering through his veins. His hands ran through my hair, his head dipping down and lips capturing mine, his fingers resting behind my ear and his thumb on my cheek. His tongue slipped against mine, rubbing, tasting. I sucked gently on the muscle, squeezing the length in my hand. He moaned into my mouth, then pulled away to pant into my ear. _“Oh, Draco!”_ I laughed against his throat, where I was working on marking his pale skin.

_“Shh, Harry_.” I wanted him, wanted more and more and he wanted me too and it made my head spin-

_“Draco.”_ A longer moan, hands gripping my hair tightly. _Draco,_

_Draco,_

_Draco..._

“Draco!”

I woke with a start, rolling over as my mother shook my shoulder. She looked at me with raised eyebrows and a concerned curve to her mouth.

“Wake up, love. You’ll be late for school.” She petted my head, lingering on my forehead. “Maybe you should stay home. You feel hot.” I felt myself flush more, moving away from her hand and sitting up, bunching the blankets on top of my crotch to hide my morning wood.

“No, I’m fine. Just give me a minute to wake up properly.” My mother worried her lip, then composed herself and smiled at me.

“Alright, dear. Don’t forget to take a shower. I’ll have breakfast ready for you before your father leaves.” I smiled back at my mother, albeit more strained than her smile.

“Thank you.” She exited my room, throwing me a strange look, and then closed the door behind her. As soon as her footsteps faded, I threw off my blankets and looked down at my lap dejectedly. “What are you doing?” I chided myself. “That’s completely inappropriate!” My length strained back at me, rebelling against my conscience. I know it was a natural part of being a teenager, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing! Harry would be horrified if he knew I went around getting stiff from thinking about him! I groaned in humiliation, swinging my legs out of bed and standing up. I had no time to wank this morning, I was already behind. With one last glare at my crotch, I picked up my bundle of clothes for the day and headed towards the bathroom.

 

**HPDM HPDM HPDM**

**Harry**

 

 I stroked soft red hair out of her face, running her brush through the lock already in my hand. I placed it at her shoulder accordingly, pulling the quilt up to her shoulders. I tucked her in carefully, raising her frail arms to finish fixing the blankets.

“There.” I murmured, setting her hands over the blanket. “It’s a bit chilly in here. Uncle Vernon said he had to turn down the heat a bit because it was costing too much, so you can borrow my quilt for a while.” I played with the edge of the blanket idly, watching my hands move. “Um, I’m paying for food this week, so ignore me if I come to sleep on the floor again.”

I sat down in silence, watching the mechanical rise and fall of her stomach as she breathed. I felt my familiar rush of guilt as I opened my mouth.

“I won’t be home until later tonight.” I told her in a rush, my voice cracking a bit. “Draco, the boy I told you about, he’s taking me to see a film tonight.” I was doing well, looking at her face... “Sirius said it would be good for me to go, so...” I trailed off, ashamed of my horrible excuse, now unable to look at her, the guilt already creeping in. “I mean I didn’t _want_ to go at first. I’d rather stay here, but Remus agreed with Siri and you always said he was the smart one.” I babbled, laughing weakly. “I thought it would be a good idea to listen to him.” I glanced at the clock on her bedside table. “I’m sorry; I have to go to school now. Don’t worry, Aunt Petunia said she would feed you. I’ll check when I get home just in case, but she’s usually pretty good with you. At least, I trust her to do that for me while I’m gone. I hardly ever go out anyways.” I sighed, finally looking up at my mum. “See you tonight. I’ll tell you all about it.” I stood and placed a kiss on her forehead, checking her machines before I left. “Sorry...” I mumbled, stepping out of the room.

I closed the door gently behind me and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed my bag off the floor, glaring at Dudley as I grabbed one of my apples from the counter. He had stolen one yesterday, and I was still angry.

“What?” He grunted. He had staring acting all cocky lately, after he started attending a private school. I rolled my eyes at my pudgy cousin and left the kitchen, wrapping the sleeves of my uniform sweater around my hands. I pulled my coat on, snuggling into it for a moment before leaving the house, the icy air awakening me.

_Meanwhile inside, machines whirred away, pumping life through a motionless body. Robotic breaths breezed in and out while technology kept a life living in a seemingly endless sleep._

_In_

_And out._

_In_

_And out._

_In..._

 

**HPDM HPDM HPDM**

**Draco**

Harry laughed as I tilted my head back, catching another piece of popcorn in my mouth. Neville and Luna cheered, making me grin while I chewed the salty piece of food. The night was originally supposed to be just Harry and I, but once Neville heard about it, he wanted to come, and Luna was invited by extension. I will admit that I still enjoyed myself despite the invasion of privacy, feeling comfortable with my new friends.

Our school had a discreet classroom that was open for students to use as a study place, but it was often empty and occupied instead by Harry, Luna and Neville. They simply closed the door behind them at lunch, and people assumed the class was closed.

I liked my new friends. They were all quite different people, which made hanging out with them new and exciting, and entertaining each time. Luna was... herself. She always wore cool or strange jewelry and was quite affectionate towards Harry and Neville. She also liked to read tarot cards for all of us and ask us if she was right the next day, which she often was. Neville was a bit awkward, though not as much as I was, and had a talent for taking care of plants. He and Harry met while working at the café and have been friends ever since. He was a bit shy, but opened up quickly once he got used to me. I didn’t understand why no one else at the school wanted to hang out with them. They were all very kind and hilarious, and loyal towards each other. They were both especially protective of Harry, which is probably why they tagged along on our not-really-date night.

“Draco! Can you catch two of them?” Luna challenged. I shrugged.

“I’ll try.” She threw one, which I caught, and another one directly afterward, which I barely managed to get in my mouth. All three of them burst into cheers, Harry grabbing my arm while he laughed. A shock of warmth went through me where he touched me, and I felt myself blush, looking down while I laughed with them.

“How do you do that?” Neville asked. Ever since I tossed a piece of popcorn up and caught it in my mouth in the theatre, they had been obsessed with my skill.

“I dunno.” I shrugged again. “I just do. It’s my special ability.” I made ninja hands like a dork and made Harry laugh again, clutching his stomach. He had laughed a lot tonight, which I was glad for not only because I liked his laugh, but because he looked sad that morning and I didn’t like it.

We reached Luna’s house and dropped her off, making our way to Neville’s house. They lived in the older part of Leicester, where the houses looked warm and lived in. After Neville went inside, it was just Harry and I, Harry skipping in front of me and kicking the snow, smiling brightly.

“I feel very happy.” He told me, laughing at my expression. “I don’t go out much.”

“We should make it a regular thing.” I suggested. “We could go ice skating next week.” Harry paused on the sidewalk in front of me, letting me catch up. His cheeks were rosy from cold and joy, and I wanted to touch his face.

“I don’t know how.” He admitted softly. I stopped in front of him, smiling down at his green eyes. The sleeves of his uniform covered his hands, and he pulled them tighter, putting his hands in his coat pockets.

“I could teach you.” I offered. He was so cute... I wanted to kiss him. Harry bit his lip and turned away suddenly.

“But I don’t even have skates! Let’s go to the _moon_ next week!” He reached up, laughing gaily, fingers outstretched like he could grab onto the white circle above us.

“The moon?” I chuckled, humoring him.

“Yes.” He said surely, wiggling his fingers above him. He stared up at the sky, his arms falling to his sides. “Let’s go. Just you and me.” A little shudder went through him, his voice going quiet. “It’s so far away...” I started walking again, touching his elbow gently.

“We’ll go to the moon then.” I agreed. “And have tea with the stars.” Harry looked at me, a little frown on his lips, before trying a sad little smile.

“Sounds good.” He murmured, hooking his arm into mine. We continued down the street like that, quietly now, Harry shuffling his feet and looking down. “I want to get out.” He said softly. “But I’m not ready yet.” He sighed. “I have things I need to do.” I wasn’t sure what he meant, but I knew he wasn’t talking about our fake journey to the moon.

“Take your time. We can go to the moon when you’re ready.” A flicker of a smile crossed his face, and he held my arm tighter.

“I... I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.” I stared at him while we walked.

“Harry...”

“What did you want to be when you grew up? When you were a child, I mean.” I was startled by the change in conversation, but went with it.

“I wanted to be like my father; in every single way.” _Money, house, **wife, child,** **normal** , **HAPPY**._ “Working in the government.” I gave him the short answer. Harry nodded.

“I wanted to be a police officer.” His eyes went soft, and he grinned a bit. “That’s what my father did. He was going to be Chief Inspector.” Harry swallowed, his face falling again.

“Why didn’t he?” I asked tentatively.

“He died.” Was the soft answer, Harry’s voice catching. Remorse swelled inside me.

“I’m sorry.” I apologised automatically. I can’t imagine how it would feel to lose a parent. I wondered how old he was when it happened.

“Don’t be.” Harry waved a hand dismissively. “I’m alright with talking about it now. I have a lot more family with me now than I did then...” He trailed off, biting his lip. “But...” It was quiet for a moment, just the soft crunch of snow beneath our feet as we walked. “What’s your father like?” Harry asked suddenly, looking up at me. I accepted his not-so-subtle topic change and thought for a moment before answering.

“Well, he’s an adult.” Harry chuckled. “Very formal. It comes with his job.” I received a nod of understanding, and I couldn’t look away once I peered down at those green eyes. “We look quite similar, actually, but his hair is longer.”

“Have you ever been afraid of him?” Harry asked. I looked away from him for a moment as a car drove by, Harry nudging us away from the edge of the sidewalk a bit. I considered his question for a long while. Sure, my father was an intimidating man, but being behaved and being scared were two different things...We came out of the one of the urban parts of the town, coming to where most of the shops were.

“I... I don’t think so.” I answered finally, Harry bumping into me as a couple walked down the street, Harry letting go of my arm. I had forgotten he was doing it until the sensation left.

“That’s good.” Harry smiled. “I don’t think sons should be afraid of their fathers.” I nodded in agreement. Had he been afraid of his father? Oh, there was so much I wanted to know about him... His stomach growled, and he blushed brightly, his cheeks going red. “Oh, I’m sorry!” He seemed embarrassed.

“No, that’s my fault.” I insisted. “I haven’t fed you, like a good date would.” I winked, unable to resist the chance to tease him. Harry looked away, smiling but blushing deeper.

“You don’t have to...” He tried.

“I want to.” I insisted. “Come on, we’ll grab a bite to eat.” We stopped in a little pastry store, and I bought us both a hot meat pie, which we ate to keep us warm as we headed to Harry’s house.

“It isn’t really my house,” He explained after giving me directions. “I’m only staying there with my aunt and uncle for a while, until things are sorted.” He choked up a bit again, ducking his head. “Uh, my family is a little broken right now.” He swallowed, biting his lip, his eyebrows furrowing. I finished my pie and looked around to see if anyone else was around.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, tossing my empty pie container in a trash bin we came to. Harry snapped out of his little trance when I paused in front of the bin, finishing his food and tossing the container as well. He crossed his arms over his stomach, holding his sleeves.

“Not really...” He murmured. “I haven’t really told anyone about it. It’ll figure itself out soon anyways.” He sighed. “Those things are usually out of my control.” He kicked at the ground, shivering in the wind. “Most of my life has been out of my control; at least, it has been lately. I don’t really know what to do with myself. Sometimes I get desperate...” He clutched at his sleeves again, bringing my attention to his slender hands. He looked up at me with his green eyes, his hands trembling as he shoved them in his pockets.

“I know what you mean.” I told him. “I was bullied a lot at my old school, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t stop it.” I shrugged. “I’ve had a lot of pressures put on me, things I was expected to do that I couldn’t...” Harry looked upset, so I trailed off. I hated it when he was sad.

“You were bullied too?” He asked sadly. “But... But you’re so... Amazing.” I blushed, looking down at my feet.

“Thanks...” I mumbled. “But the other students didn’t seem to think so.” I shrugged again, then grimaced at my awkwardness. “People at our school don’t see how great you, Neville and Luna are either.” Harry bit his lip.

“Yeah. Neville and Luna I don’t really understand. Neville is pretty ‘normal’, if not shy. Although Luna has her quirks, she really is lovely... As for me, well, I sort of brought it on myself.” I cocked my head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a long story. Not for winter weather.” He waved dismissively. I realised we had been standing in the cold for a while, and Harry was trembling all over. I nodded in front of us, and we started walking again, Harry nudging me with his shoulder. “I wonder why the kids at your school didn’t see how good you are.” I wrinkled my nose.

“I know why.”

“Why?”

“Well, I like blokes a bit more than others were comfortable with.” I stared hard at my feet, silently begging Harry to be okay with it. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to tell him-

“Oh, you’re gay?” He didn’t sound as surprised as I thought he would.

“Uh, yeah...” He chuckled quietly, and I looked up at him quickly. _Shit, now he’s laughing at me._

“I’m sorry; I’m not laughing at you.” He assured me. “I don’t have a problem with it. You looked so worried though, I had to diffuse the tension.”

“You’re really okay with it?” I asked, pausing in the middle of the sidewalk again, my heart lifting with relief. I had been so frightened...

“Honestly, Dray.” Harry laughed, hitting my arm playfully. My heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t called me that before, only in my dream that morning. “Have you met Remus? He’s bent like an old spoon. Really, it’s fine.” I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me. I wanted to hug him.

“Thanks.” I murmured. “I was worried for some reason.” Harry rolled his eyes and stepped forward, hugging me tightly.

“Don’t be. You can trust me with anything.” I smiled and hugged him back, squeezing him extra tight. Harry was skinny and bony, but warm. He smelled like cinnamon again, and some kind of masculine body spray. Harry let out a cute grunt, being squished by my sudden rush of affection. “Ugh, my organs are gonna come out my ears.” He rasped into my ear, making me laugh.

“Sorry, I’m just really happy. I don’t want to lose the friends I just made...” I let go of Harry and stepped back to look at him. “Especially you.” I grinned at him, and he blushed, looking away and rubbing his head.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He swore. “Come on, it’s getting really cold. I have to check on my mum before I go to bed.” We continued to his aunt’s house, walking close enough to brush against each other every now and then. “So... Do you fancy anyone at school?” I laughed a bit too loudly, afraid he had seen through me.

“No! No, not really.” He looked at me amusedly, grinning that crooked little grin of his. “Er, _no_.” I repeated firmly. “Most of the boys at school are idiots.” Harry laughed and nodded.

“I’ll give you that much.” He chuckled. “But there isn’t even anyone you think is attractive?” I laughed nervously again (Fucking habit, I have to stop doing that), and bumped into Harry.

“Why does it matter so much?” I asked, not really sure I wanted to know the answer.

“Well... I want you to be happy.” He played with his sleeves again. “And maybe I’m a bit curious. What’s your type?” He peeked up at me and good lord; if I had a type then it was him.

“Uh,” I was distracted by his eyes, so green and wide and beautiful against his pale skin and dark hair. “Uh, I don’t think I have a type yet. I’ve only been out since last year. I dated one boy at my old school, but we were better off as friends.” I shrugged, grinning at the memory of my boisterous friend.

“What was his name?” Harry asked curiously, not looking away from me.

“Theodore.” I laughed despite myself. “He has brown hair and hazel eyes. He’s... Kind of gangly, but in an endearing way. He’s just a bit taller than me. We’ve been friends throughout elementary school.” I rolled my eyes to myself, remembering our awkward relationship. We snogged a few times and he tried to get me off once, but it was too weird for us. “We tried dating, but it was just too awkward. Whenever we kissed, I would think of when we used to have sleepovers and swim around in his little plastic pool. I kept seeing him as a ten year old in his white briefs and it was a major turn-off.” Harry let out a surprised laugh, holding his stomach. “I’m sorry, that was probably a bit too much information.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” Harry waved me off. “Siri tells me about his adventures with Remus all the time, much to Remus’ annoyance.” I cocked my head.

“Siri? That’s Remus’ partner, right?” Harry snorted.

“Actually, his name is Sirius, but we call him Siri most of the time. He’s the kid in the family.” Harry said fondly, smiling. “I’m going to live with them eventually... When we go to the moon.” He shot me a grin, nudging me. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes though, and it hurt me to think that he was unhappy at home.

“Why don’t you live with them now?” I asked tentatively, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. Harry frowned, walking a bit faster.

“My mum thought it would be good for me. She didn’t see her sister often. And when dad died...” He trailed off, sighing. “Maybe we should talk about this later.” He looked uncomfortable.

“Okay.” I agreed easily. Harry attempted a smile, and I flung an arm around his shoulders. “I won’t force you to talk about it, but if something’s bugging you then you know you can talk to me, right?” Harry smiled again, this time with his eyes as well.

“Yeah. Thanks, Dray.” His arm came around my waist, and I practically shone on the inside. “We’re here.” He said, stopping at the street corner. “I’m number four.” He turned to face me, biting his lip. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” I grimaced guiltily.

“Actually, my mother is dragging me out of town tomorrow to visit my friends from my old school for the weekend.” Harry’s face fell for a moment, but he quickly smiled at me.

“Oh,” He said softly. “Well, I hope you have a good time. You must miss them.” He looked down, playing with his hands. “Er, anyways... Tell them I said hello, okay?” I nodded and Harry smiled. “Okay.” He scratched at his head, his loose sleeve drooping and a flash of white catching my eye before he started speaking again. “See you on Monday then.” He turned to leave, and I grabbed his arm, tugging him into a quick embrace that wasn’t quite a hug, patting his back.

“I’ll see you at school. Have a good weekend.” I murmured, pulling back to smile at him. Harry grinned back shyly and hesitated again.

“It’s not too far of a walk, is it?”

“No, no. The apartment building isn’t too far from here.” I reassured him. “I’ll be okay.”

“Alright...” He grinned and started crossing the street, turning away from me.

“Goodnight!” I called, my heart twisting. God, I was pathetic. I hadn’t even left yet and I already missed him. Harry laughed and turned around, bowing shortly.

“Goodnight.” He replied in kind, before walking into the house. I loitered helplessly for a minute or two before starting towards my apartment, feeling oddly drained.

I kicked off my shoes and placed them in the closet before removing my coat and hanging it up. I folded my scarf and tossed it to the shelf above the coats, sighing to myself. I closed the closet door and was face-to-face with my mother. I let out a small shriek, jumping back and leaning against the wall to calm my heart.

“Mother!” I gasped. “You scared me!”

“I’m sorry, Draco, but I was so excited to see you! How did your date go?” I blushed, walking past my mother and into our kitchen, where my father was looking at paperwork. He lowered his glasses when I walked into the room, looking up at me. I ignored his stare in favour of making a cup of tea.

“It wasn’t a date, mother. I told you there were other people with us!”

“Oh, details.” She claimed, waving her hand. “Did you tell him how you feel?” I scoffed, letting my tea alone for a moment to let it steep.

“I’ve known him barely a month. I still don’t even know for sure if he likes boys.” I glanced at my father, blushing at the expression on his face. I finished making my tea, forgetting about letting it steep, and went to leave the room. “I think I’ll go to my room for the night.”

“No, Draco. You’re going to tell me about this boy. I don’t know anything about him except for that you fancy him!”

“Mother-!”

“Draco!”

“But... Father...” I whispered, embarrassed that he was hearing this. My father cleared his throat.

“Draco, I don’t think I tell you enough that I love you.” I held myself back from rolling my eyes, my stomach lurching. The last time he told me he loved me was four years ago, at my grandmother’s funeral, when he addressed my mother and I by saying he ‘loved his family’. My father wasn’t very affectionate, to say the least. “I understand that you are a teenage boy, and you’re going to start having thoughts and urges-” I turned to face my father in shock.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I asked. I was amused to find his face turning rosy, his impassive expression fighting against embarrassment.

“It’s important that you use safety when you’re-“

“Oh, god! No!” I almost ran to my bedroom, feeling nauseous.

“Draco!” My mother called after me. I shut my bedroom door behind me and locked it, setting my tea down and sitting on my bed, staring at the door apprehensively. My father was _not_ going to give me a sex-talk. That was _way_ too weird.

“Draco...” A light knock started at my door, my father’s voice smooth and controlled again. “I know this is awkward. It’s just as weird for me as it is for you.”

“Because it’s with another boy?” I called back, feeling uncomfortable with myself for a moment. As much as my father said he was okay with my sexuality, I know he still wished I was straight.

“No!” My father huffed in defeat. “Unlock your door, we need to talk.” I ground my teeth nervously, but stood up to unlock my door, opening it for my father. “Thank you.” He managed. “Take a seat.” I sat on my bed again while my father closed my door, pulling my desk chair over in front of me and sitting down. “I’m a bit frustrated right now,” He started.

“I know.” I mumbled. “I know you wanted me to find a wife and have a family, and I know I’ve disappointed you. I tried really hard to be straight, but it’s not who I am. I can’t help it.” I looked away from my father, tucking my hands under my thighs so I wouldn’t fiddle with them. He hated when I did that. It was silent for a moment, and I winced, regretting my words.

“Draco...” My father sighed. “I’ve been reading up on homosexuality for months now. I bring it up whenever I can, and never in a negative way. I’ve told you over and over that I don’t mind-“

“But I know you do!” I shouted. “I know you wish I wasn’t gay, that’s why you’re so uncomfortable around me!” I bit the inside of my lip, feeling a crying fit coming on. All my insecurities just kind of gushed out, coming out to Harry had put me on edge. “I know you want me to work harder, do better in school, and I know you wish I was more of a man.” I took a deep breath to calm myself. “I... The truth is, no matter how hard I try, I know I’ll never be enough. I know I’ll always disappoint you...” I clenched my hands under my thighs, blinking back tears. Now that he knew what a giant pussy I really was, I may as well just go all or nothing, but I still had some pride.

“Do you remember when I slipped on ice one year and threw my back out?” He asked me suddenly. I nervously glanced at my father, shook my head. “You were six years old, in second year of primary school. Since I had to take time off to heal, I could spend more time with you than before. I used to read a book to you every night to get you to fall asleep. Do you remember?” I thought back, through fuzzy memories of sing-along-songs and wobbly-drawn pictures hung on the fridge.

“Was it The Hobbit?”

“Yes. I didn’t finish the book by the time I was back at work, but you finished it on your own.” That I remembered. I still loved those books.

“I remember.” My father shifted, and I shuffled away from him.

“You used to tell me you thought Legolas was handsome, and that you wished you could go and live with him in his forest.” I blushed.

“Did I actually say that? Shit.”

“Language.” My father chastised me automatically. “I kind of knew then that you were different.” I felt my shoulders droop. “But I’ve never thought that you weren’t good enough.” I looked up at my father sharply. He was looking at me intensely, his gray eyes boring into mine. “You’re my son. You’ve always done well in school and been kind and polite. You’re extremely literate and well-spoken, and you have so many opportunities for your future. I have _always_ been proud of you.” I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “Maybe it’s because I have issues expressing my emotions and thoughts, or maybe it’s because I’m not home as much as other fathers, but whatever it is that’s made you think you aren’t good enough, it needs to stop now.” I felt my lip tremble and bit harshly at it. “I feel like I haven’t seen who you really are in years. Even now, you’re holding your own emotions back.” He moved closer, and I clenched my fists to hold myself still. “I’ve never been more proud of you, Draco. Especially now that you’ve accepted yourself and stood up for yourself. I know how hard that is, Draco. I’ve seen you struggle.” I sucked in a breath, feeling myself tremble.

“Father...” I croaked. He moved onto my bed beside me and put an arm around my shoulders, pulling me to his side. God, he hadn’t hugged me since I was twelve, when I started secondary school. I couldn’t stop a sob from escaping, but I bit back the next one that threatened me.

“I’m so sorry.” My father whispered. “I’m sorry I’ve been putting so much pressure on you. I don’t want you to change, Draco; I love you just the way you are. You’re my only son, and if you’re going to fall in love with a man someday, then that’s how it’s going to be.” I swiped at a tear that escaped me, breathing deeply to control my tears. “If you wanted to settle down working at a fast-food place, then I would still support you, though with long frowns and not-so-subtle begs for a career change.” I chuckled wetly, leaning into my father. Support felt nice. I had missed my father. “It’s alright if you talk about boys you fancy around me. I want to know how you’re feeling, because if repressing your emotions makes you miserable like you have been, then I don’t want you to do it anymore. Okay?” I nodded jerkily, still biting my trembling lip. “Do you need a moment?” He asked. I nodded again, pressing my hands to my eyes. I was fine until he started rubbing my back, and that small amount of affection broke the dam that had been holding back my insecurities. I started sobbing.

I cried for the nights I spent as a child waiting for Father to come home and read me my story. I cried for sleepless nights, bouts of panic and anxiety I had throughout secondary school over grades I didn’t think were good enough. I cried for the years I spent through puberty hating myself every time I watched a boy walk by me, for feelings I stifled, repressed and abhorred. I _cried_.

When the floodgates shut, I caught my breath, the familiar smell of my father’s cologne calming me further. My breathing jumped in the aftermath of emotion, but I ignored it to reach for a tissue, wiping my face.

“That was hideous.” I managed to say, my voice rough and tight from crying. My father squeezed my shoulder and said nothing. “I didn’t mean to let that happen.” I apologised without apologising, removing the evidence of my tears.

“Real men know when to let go.” My father murmured. He stood up and bent over me, pressing his lips to the top of my head. “We can talk about this young man of yours tomorrow; I’ll be able to get home earlier than usual. Goodnight, Draco.” He smiled softly at me before he closed the door behind him.

I blinked confusedly for a minute afterwards, playing with the tissue in my hands. _My father..._ I smiled to myself, rubbing my tired eyes. _My father is the most awkward man in the world._

_And I love him for it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, please don't kill me. I'm still alive!! :D And I have the next chapter finished, just need to work on chapter six first. I also made a tumblr, but I'm too shy to post a link... -_-' There's nothing really on there anyways. Meh.. D:


	5. The Deepest Sleep Brings The Darkest Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, heh... So hey. I'm alive. I'm also not going to bore you with excuses :) This one feels short, so sorry for that, but hopefully it satisfies.
> 
> !WARNING!  
> There are graphic descriptions of accidents and self harm in this chapter, please be safe and aware of your limits, lovelies. <3
> 
> Thanks for sticking around!

**Harry**

I rested my head on my mother’s mattress, a tear rolling out of my left eye and falling onto the quilt covering her. I had my arms tucked to my chest, the stinging sensation keeping me awake. I didn’t have to pay for my food anymore, but the Dursley’s glared at me so fiercely whenever I went to grab something to eat that I only ate when they weren’t home. With Petunia being a housewife and Dudley’s different school schedule, it was rare that they weren’t home. My stomach growled, and I winced at the hunger pains. I looked up at my mum, her sick pale skin and dull red hair. My usual guilt ate me up, the stinging on my arms flaring.

“I’m sorry.”

 

_“Where’s mum?” I asked, hissing at the sting of sanitization liquid on my forehead._

_“The accident left her with deep head trauma.” Dr. Inoue told me, crouched down to my level. Siri’s arm was tight around my shoulders, keeping me upright. “And the water stopped oxygen from reaching her brain. She’s in a coma right now, but sometimes patients can bounce back. We’ve seen people wake from comas before, Harry, and your mother is a strong woman.” I bit my lip, unable to look at my mother’s co worker. We had gone to her baby shower a few months ago. I had played with her little son just last week. Dr. Inoue pulled back, taping a bandage to my head and putting away her supplies. She stayed crouched._

_“And dad?” I rasped, rubbing my left hand on my thigh to relieve the clammy feeling. It was silent for a moment, and Dr. Inoue reached forward to put her hand on mine._

_“I’m sorry, Harry. He was gone before they hit the water.” Sirius sucked in a short breath and I felt myself go numb._

_“He’s dead?” I breathed. Siri squeezed my shoulder and Dr. Inoue squeezed my hands._

_“I’m so sorry, Harry.” She repeated, sounding choked up. “He wouldn’t have felt any pain.” I nodded, and Dr. Inoue continued to speak, but I was gone. I couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t see anything. My head hurt. I jumped at the feeling of arms coming around me, the smell of books and sandalwood surrounding me._

_“Harry! Are you okay? I heard what happened, I came as fast as I could. Harry?” I blinked, and looked into Remus’ warm eyes, tight with concern. I stared at him blankly, and then burst into tears, my head splitting into a horrible headache, my ears ringing, my chest hurting. I cried harder when Remus hugged me tightly, my hip and arm screaming in pain._

_“Ow, ow!”  I cried, and Remus pulled away, Dr. Inoue crowding him._

_“What hurts, Harry?” I held my arm and cried and cried, it was uncontrollable. “Let’s get you an x-ray. Claire! Get me that wheelchair!” My father was dead, and my mother possibly sleeping forever. My pain was the last thing I was worried about._

I had managed to escape the accident with a broken elbow, broken pelvis and stitches, with only a scar on my forehead and sometimes soreness if I stood too much as a reminder.

“I miss you.” I whispered to my mum, “You and dad.” My breath caught in my throat, and I coughed so I could breathe again. “It’s kind of bad here right now. I just-” A sob tore its way out of my chest. “I just miss how much you loved me, and how much I loved you. I miss being _loved_.” I swiped at my eyes, rubbing away tears. “I... Siri and Remus say I should think about-” I cleared my throat, a lump suddenly appearing and blocking my words. “That it’s time to let you go. I don’t want to, but Vernon keeps saying how expensive it’s getting, and Dr. Inoue- er, Makoto, she told me you might not be waking up... since it’s been over two years...” I sat up, looking down at my lap. “Mum, if you’re still in there, I really need you to wake up.” My voice wobbled, and I fought to control it. “I know you can do it. I s-still have hope. Please...”

“Hey,” I jumped, wiping my face, when Petunia appeared at the doorway suddenly.

“Y-yes?” I stuttered.

“You’ll be late for work.” She said, her eyes lingering on my mum before travelling to look me over. “What happened to your arm?” The bandage covering my forearm was in plain view, and I grabbed my work shirt, tugging it on over my t-shirt and doing up the buttons.

“Burned myself at work. It’s nothing.” I lied, leaning over to kiss my mum’s forehead. I grabbed my bag off the floor and left the bedroom, rubbing my eyes to remove tears. Remus would interrogate me if he saw I was crying when I got to work. I walked straight to work, my head low. I was feeling utterly miserable lately, especially at Vernon’s house. I hadn’t meant to start cutting again, it just sort of happened. I hadn’t meant to start cutting in the first place, but...

 

_“Look at that sun!” My dad crowed, mum and I following his gaze to the sunset over the river we were passing. We were driving over a bridge, on our way to a swanky restaurant where dad had made reservations. We piled into the small car, mum teasing dad by telling him the first thing we were going to buy after his promotion was a big green hummer. My dad looked positively ill; ever the eco man._

_“A glorious end to a glorious day.” Mum mused, reaching over to ruffle dad’s hair. I grinned and rolled my eyes at my parents. I was so proud of my dad. He was going to be Detective Chief Inspector, like he’s wanted for years. “Pull over, James. Harry, love, why don’t you take a picture for us?” Mum asked, passing the camera over to me._

_“Sure.” We pulled to a stop at the side of the road. I undid my seat belt and jumped out, walking in front of the car and leaning against the metal bars that made a rail at the edge of the bridge that stopped cars from driving off the bridge. I moved between the hood of the car and the rail, getting a better view of the sun.  I heard the car before I saw it, my eye still looking through the camera at the sunset in front of me. There was the roar of a car moving too fast, and I turned to shout at the driver like my mum and dad did sometimes..._

_A large truck sped over to us, and I stood, shocked, as the truck slammed into the driver’s side door, pushing our car into the metal bars and crushing me in between. My dad and I locked gazes for a split second before my leg gave out, my side burning with sudden white-hot pain. I screamed in agony when I felt my right elbow crunch, slumping over our small car, smacking my head off the hood and bracing myself with my good hand. It all happened in one split second, the sounds of my scream, broken glass and crunching metal ringing through the silence that followed the crash. Our car swung around from the impact, the back slamming into the metal bars. There was the groan and snap of breaking metal, and I twisted my neck to look over where the rail had broken, my body pumping full of panic and adrenaline when our car started tipping backwards into the water._

_“No!” I shouted, grabbing the car desperately. “NO!” I shrieked when my grabbing made no difference, only pulling on my arm and flaring up nauseating pain, the car slipping off the bridge and into the river below us. I staggered after it, watching helplessly as my parents plummeted into the water, the car flipping upside down and being nearly completely submerged underwater. I screamed, desperate sobs wracking through my chest as I stared down at the car, holding my arm to my side when a burning heat emanated from my elbow. I swung around to the truck that hit us, the front of it completely smashed. I limped over to it, my hip burning in complaint. I ignored the feeling. I needed help. I could save them. I threw the truck door open, ignoring the driver who was blinking up at me uselessly._

_“Shit, are you alright?” He slurred, moving to undo his seat belt. I reached across his lap and grabbed his cellphone from the cup holder, dialing 999._

_“Emergency, which service do you require?” A female voice answered immediately._

_“M-my- Please, we’ve just been hit by a truck. My mum and dad got pushed off the bridge. I... I tried to stop the car but it was too heavy_.” _Her voice went from bored monotone to genuine concern in a split second._

_“Okay, honey. Stay calm. Are you injured?”_ _I winced and held my elbow, the pain in my hip burning hotter when I shifted my weight._

_“My arm and my side feel like they’re burning... But I think the adrenaline is making it numb.”_

_“What’s your name, sweetheart?”_

_“H-Harry. I’m fourteen years old. We’re on the bridge going to the next town over, by the gas station.”_ _I looked in the direction we came from, biting my lip._

_“You’re being very helpful, Harry. You’re a good boy. The car that hit you, is the driver conscious?”_

_“He’s awake.” I looked carefully at the man, who was struggling with his seatbelt. He belched and coughed, and I wrinkled my nose. “He smells like beer. Please hurry, they’re going to drown. The car got flipped over.” My breathing sped up, and I stumbled over to the edge again, crying in pain, looking down. “Please! They’ll die! Please, they need help!”_

_“I need you to calm down, Harry. I have ambulances, firetrucks and police on their way now.”_

_“Okay, thank you.”_

_“Talk to me, Harry. Is the car underwater?”_

_“A-almost. But it’s upside-down. They’ll die!” I wailed, leaning on the railing. “They’re gonna die!”_

_“The cars should be there, soon, Harry. It’s going to be alright. What’s your favourite subject in school?” I blinked at the sudden question._

_“Uh, um... Art, I think. B-but I like English, too. I like to read.”_

_“That’s good. You must be a smart boy. Is your arm still hurting?”_

_“Yeah, but more than before. My hip hurts too. I’m dizzy...”_

_“It’s okay, Harry. You’re very brave. The cars should be there any minute now.” I turned my head to where we had come from, loud sirens screaming out._

_“I can hear the sirens. Will my parents be okay?”_

_“I’m not sure, Harry. You’ve done a good job. I need you to stay put until the paramedics come to you, okay?”_

_“Okay. My head hurts.”_

_“Don’t worry, Harry. It’s all okay now.” A firetruck screeched to a halt, a firefighter jumping out. “Can you wave to the people so they know where you are?”_

_“I have to hang up. I can’t move my other arm.”_

_“Okay. You’re going to be okay, Harry.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_“Stay strong.”_

I tried. I really, really tried. When I returned to school a year after the accident, I was a shadow of my former self. My dad’s funeral had been one of the most painful experiences of my life. My shoulder ached with phantom pains for days afterward with the feeling of Siri’s hand clamped on my shoulder. I went through rehab and physiotherapy so I could walk and write again, all paid for by the drunkard who decided he was fine to drive home from the pub before his wife got back from work. The kids at school couldn’t look at me, forget talk to me, and I wore thick jumpers to keep the chill of loss out of my bones, to hide the scars from my surgery. My mum was allowed home after being kept at the hospital for a while, hooked to machines that kept her alive but not living, and me sleepless night after night. I was moved to Vernon and Petunia’s place once we found out mum and dad’s wills clashed; Mum’s asking for me to live with her sister, and dad’s asking for me to live with Remus and Sirius. It was decided that I follow my mum’s wishes, and when she passed, then I would live with Remus and Siri.

I suffered a panic attack one day during school when our class was shown videos to encourage students against drunk driving. I was so out of it, caught up in memories and grief that the school had to call my aunt and uncle, and when they couldn’t calm me, Remus had to come. Everyone avoided me after that, rumors of schizophrenia and other mental illnesses spreading quickly. The stigma made me into a disease. Luna and Neville were my cure.

Like I said, I didn’t mean to start cutting. I dropped a plate one day and it slashed my foot open, the pain shocking me. For a moment, I felt... Well, I _felt_. That night, curled up on the floor beside my bed, a pair of scissors in my hand, I made ragged lines of _feeling_ on my legs. A week after, they appeared on my upper arms. A month later, they were on my forearms. Remus saw them when they made it to my wrists, when I handed him a cup of tea.

“Harry!” He cried. I startled, looking up at him. He took my hand and pulled up my sleeve, gasping at the line of cuts he saw. I snatched my hand back, pulling my sleeves over my hands. The cup of tea fell to the floor with a crash, but we ignored it. We stared at each other for a long time, Remus’ eyes wide with shock and sadness. _The smell of books and sandalwood... Remus’ warm eyes, tight with concern._ I was in his arms before I started to cry, feeling foolish for being a vulnerable fifteen-year-old, but his voice was soothing, and I felt so _alone_... Just so damn alone... “ _Harry_... You don’t need to do that- To hurt yourself like that... We love you so much. Harry, _please_...” Remus started to cry with me, squeezing me tightly to his chest.

“I’m sorry.” I sobbed. “I’m sorry...”

“I know it’s hard. I _know_ , but please don’t do that anymore. It’s okay, Harry.”

It wasn’t okay.

I didn’t cut for a long time after that, but you know what they say.

_(Old habits die hard)_

**HPDM HPDM HPDM**

**Draco**

“So, Easter Hols are coming up.” I mentioned to Harry, who was pulling some scones out of the oven. He grinned and glanced at me, blowing a lock of his hair out of his face from where it fell from his clip. I shifted in the stool I was sitting in, my stomach fluttering.

“Already? Where doesthe time go?” He teased me, making me roll my eyes.

“My friends from my old school are coming to visit. They wanted to meet you guys.” Harry stiffened where he stood, but smiled at me, making it seem like he wasn’t affected.

“Oh? Okay, then.” I watched him work for a moment, waving his gloves over the scones.

“They don’t bite.” I assured him. “They’ll like you. They’re not like the kids at our school.” Harry grinned at me.

“I trust you.” He said softly. “Any friends of yours must be great people.” I snorted.

“Well, I dunno about _great_...” I joked. Harry laughed and turned back to his pastries, putting them on a cooling shelf. His free hand pressed to his stomach, pushing harshly against the flat plane. A sort of grimace came to his face. “Are you hungry?” I asked, critically eyeing his prominent cheekbones. He was getting skinnier lately, almost skeletal. “When’s your break? I’ll take you out.” Harry flushed cutely, and I stopped myself from smiling like a dopey love-sick child.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that...” I waved away his hesitation, leaning forward.

“Don’t be silly. It’ll be my treat.” I insisted. Harry bit his lip through his grin, nodding slightly.

“Okay.” He glanced at the door when a customer walked in, and I waved at him to let him know I was leaving, wandering over to my spot to read my book. I didn’t want to distract Harry when he had customers. Remus gave me a knowing look when I passed him, and I looked away, blushing. I sat down and took out my book, ignoring the feeling of Remus’ eyes on me while I read.

I really liked Harry. He was so kind and funny and cute and I _wanted_ him like nothing else in the world, and though it sounded really cheesy and adolescent, it was true. We had gotten really close, but I just wanted more. I wanted to hold his hand, or lean over and kiss him when he was being particularly cute. I wanted him to smile and stop pressing on his stomach and stop frowning at the mention of family. I wanted him to _know_ he was wanted, and though I couldn’t say I was in love with him yet, I certainly wasn’t far off. I wanted to know about him. I wanted to know what his father was like, and what his mother is like. I just _wanted_ him.

“Hey,” Harry’s voice interrupted my thoughts, making me jump. “Oh, sorry. My break started, and we should go now if you still wanted to go out...” He shuffled and bit his lip, and **_fuck_.** I quickly marked my place and put my book away, standing eagerly.

“Yeah, let’s head out. Where did you want to go?”

“There’s a sandwich shop down the street- bye, Remus.” Harry interrupted himself to wave at his godfather, who smiled at us and nodded, returning to his paperwork. “I heard they’re good.”

“Sounds good.” I agreed, pulling the door open for Harry. He grinned and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

We walked down the street, Harry pointing out the store Luna worked at. He slipped on ice and caught himself on my sleeve, giggling skittishly as I steadied him. He walked close to me afterwards, and I could feel how warm he was, how close he was. The shop was warm after being outside, and I pulled my coat off, leaving the jumper I was wearing underneath on. We ordered our food and sat down in a small booth, our legs touching underneath the table.  Harry glanced up at me from under his eyelashes, which were long like a girls’ and he was so perfect... I smiled at him and he grinned back, pulling his coat off. We fell into an easy conversation, Harry mostly listening. He gained some colour to his face while he ate, which pleased me. He still looked tired, though, poor thing.

“So,” I broke the silence that fell over us for a few moments. “If you want to, you, Neville and Luna can come to my flat sometime over the hols to hang out.” I munched on my food and watched his reaction. I knew he would be nervous. Harry bit his lip and put his sandwich down for a moment to pull up his sleeves.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” He mumbled shyly, grinning sheepishly. I nearly smiled back, before a flash of white brought my attention to his left forearm. He had bandage and gauze wrapped from his wrist to mid-forearm, with a fleck of red near the top interrupting the otherwise sterile white.

“Oh,” I reached across the table and took his hand gently. “What happened to your arm?” Harry let me hold his arm, his eyes going wide and worried.

“Uh, a burn from work. It’s nothing.” He took his arm back, tugging his sleeves down again and folding them across his stomach. I looked at him for a moment in concern.

“You should put some cream on it; it must be pretty bad to have bled through like that.” Harry shrugged and nodded, picking at what was left of his food. He got strange, quiet and avoiding eye contact. I cleared my throat after a long moment of uncomfortable silence. “Um, maybe we should head back now. Your break will be over soon.” Harry sighed and leaned his head on his hand, looking at me. My stomach dropped, and I felt myself blush. Harry had this intense look in his eyes, the green seeming dark and _burning_ before he slid out of the booth we were sitting in, standing up and stretching.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go.” I left a tip on the table, tugging my coat on along with Harry, who looked distracted. We started back towards the cafe in an awkward silence. I poked his arm and stuck my tongue out at him when he looked at me. Harry gave me a weird look and looked forward again, a smile coming to his lips. That’s what I wanted. I poked him again, making a ridiculous face at him when he looked back at me. “What the-? Stop!” Harry laughed and bumped into me on purpose, shoving me to the side playfully. I grinned like a demon and pushed him back, Harry taking his hands out of his pockets and pushing me again, staying close to me as we continued walking. I smiled at a girl that walked by, my hand brushing against Harry's. I looked over at him, but he was looking away. It seemed like he hadn't even noticed. I brushed my hand against his again, longer and on purpose, but he didn't even blink. I grinned at him. He was so handsome... I had been thinking about that a lot, how handsome he was. Harry turned those green eyes on me and I felt myself melt...

"What?" He asked, touching his cheek. "Is there something on my face?" I shook my head.

"No, just looking." I pursed my lips and looked straight ahead to hide my ridiculous grin. Harry eyed me suspiciously, but let it go. We walked in silence, our hands brushing every now and then.

I startled when I felt his hand press into mine, gripping my hand lightly. His palm was warm where it pressed against mine. I turned to look at him sharply, surprised and pleasantly so. Harry was looking forward, the slightest blush on his cheeks. I bit back my questions, my heart pounding, and his hand squeezed mine when I faced forward again, a question.

I answered by lacing our fingers together, holding his hand more securely.

Harry flushed bright red, but wouldn’t meet my eyes, his thumb rubbing mine slowly. I accepted his shyness, not commenting while we made our way down the street, not even feeling the eyes that followed us.

 

**HPDM HPDM HPDM**

**Draco**

“Come in, make yourselves at home.” I opened the door for Luna and Neville, gesturing inside. Luna smiled and me and touched my arm as she passed, and Neville grinned crookedly. I looked into the hallway hopefully, but Harry wasn’t there. “Is Harry coming?” I asked, turning to face my new friends. I noticed their hands were intertwined, Neville blushing. I smiled knowingly at them. “Well, it’s about time!” I shouted. Luna laughed happily and Neville blushed more, ducking his head.

“Thank you, lovely.” Luna danced forward to kiss my cheek. “Harry is coming soon; he just had to do something for his aunt before he could leave.” I nodded and ushered them out of the front hall, taking their coats and hanging them up for them. My parents had me well trained. My mother came out of my parent’s bedroom, my father trailing her silently.

“Oh, hello! We meant to be out of your way before you arrived, sorry.” My mother apologised. I rolled my eyes.

“That’s fine, mother. They don’t mind.” My mother came up beside me and hugged my shoulders, looking at Neville and Luna, Neville shrinking under her gaze.

“Who are your friends? I haven’t met them before.” She squeezed my shoulders slightly.

“This is Luna and Neville. I’ve told you about them.” Neville reached forward the shake hands with my mother, and then (bravely) with my father, who stared holes into Neville’s face. I watched the colour drain from his face somewhat, sighing internally.

“Hello, Mrs. Malfoy. You have a lovely flat.” Luna breezed over to my mother, taking her hand gently. My mother straightened up proudly at the compliment. “And Mr. Malfoy, your tie goes with your suit perfectly.” My father looked down at himself in surprise, expecting Luna to be afraid. I grinned, trying not to laugh.

“Thank you. Draco picked it for me.” Luna giggled.

“That’s our Draco. Are you going out for the evening?”

“Yes, we’ve made reservations in town. We trust Draco won’t make a mess.” Mother smiled at me. My mother and father went to get their coats on, and I followed to say goodbye. “Now, remember the rules, love.” Mother reminded me. “No alcohol-”

“No drugs, no strangers. I know mother. Enjoy your evening.” I resisted the urge to dodge the kiss placed on my cheek, and jumped when my father clapped his hand on my shoulder.

“Have a good night, kids.” He nodded at me and my friends, stepping into the hallway. My mother waved at Luna and Neville, who waved back.

“That tie really does look nice, Lucius.” My mother’s voice floated out into the hall, making me grin. I shut the door behind them and faced my friends, grinning.

“So... Drinks? Snacks? The others are going to meet us in town, so we have a while to relax.” I herded the two into my living room area, Luna making herself comfortable on the couch. “I have some crisps in the cupboard if you fancy them.” I moved a pillow off the couch so Neville could sit nearer to Luna.

“Yeah, that’d be great.” Neville blushed and smirked at me, and I went into my kitchen to grab the snacks and a few cans of pop. I returned after a moment, finding Luna struggling with the TV remote and Neville face-palming beside her.

“Oh, it’s confusing. Here, let me...” I turned the telly on and handed her the remote, letting her change it to a cooking show.

“Who’s coming tonight?” Neville asked after a moment of comfortable quiet.

“Some of my friends from my old school. There’s Pansy, Blaise and Theo. I don’t expect my friend Greg to come, he and I are kind of on and off friends. My ex, Theo, he’s-” I stopped abruptly, realising my mistake. I hadn’t come out to Luna or Neville yet; hadn’t felt the need. “Um...”

“What? What’s wrong?” Luna asked, looking confused.

“Uh...” I could feel my face turning red. “Sorry. That just kind of slipped out.” Neville rolled his eyes.

“What are you talking about? Your ex boyfriend Theo is what?” Neville asked. He smiled at me, waiting for me to continue. Luna raised her eyebrows, grinning. They didn’t care. Didn’t even miss a beat. I smiled widely, sitting straighter in my seat.

“You guys are the best, you know that?” I whispered. Luna leaned over and hugged my shoulders, rubbing my back.

“We’re all misfits, Draco. As far as our group goes, a little homosexuality is quite normal. Besides, your sexual orientation does not affect your personality.” She pulled back to look at me, gesturing to herself. “I’m pansexual, and Neville doesn’t care.” Neville nodded in agreement. “So don’t worry about that.” I grinned and pulled Luna into another hug, feeling a wave of affection for my new friends.

“Thank you.” I breathed. Luna rubbed my back, kissing my cheek when she pulled away. We watched the cooking show for a few minutes before my intercom buzzed by the front door of my flat.

“Oh, that’s probably Harry.” Luna looked worried all of the sudden, so I rushed to answer it.

“Hellooo?” I sang.

“ _Hey, Draco? It’s Harry.”_ He sounded nervous.

“I thought it might be. Come on up, we’ll unlock the flat. The door sticks a bit, so don’t be afraid to really shove at it.” There was a quiet laugh.

_“Alright, then. See you soon.”_ The intercom shut off and I pressed the button to let him into the building. I unlocked the door and turned around to find Luna behind me, fidgeting and biting her lip.

“Are you okay?” I asked, reaching out to touch her arm.

“Yeah, yeah. Harry’s just-” She cut herself off, looking down at her hands. “Well, it’s more his aunt-” She paused again, shaking her head. “Not really, it’s actually his uncle... ” I raised my eyebrows expectantly. “It’s just not a good sign when he has to be late.” She finished vaguely, Neville crossing the living room to join us.

“Why? What do you mean?” I asked, getting worked up.

“It’s not something he talks with us about. He likes it when we ignore it.” Neville chimed in. “Don’t say anything if something’s different, okay? Harry has a hard time sometimes.” I bit back my anger at that statement.

Harry didn’t deserve that. I had seen his sadness. It lingered over him like a fog, dimmed his smiles and weighed him down. He didn’t need anything else to hurt him. I never wanted _anything_ to hurt him. Asking me not to say anything if something was hurting Harry was like asking a honeybee not to make honey. Neville and Luna stared at me solemnly, and I huffed, nodding. Fine, I would try not to. But if something bad was happening, then I was going to step in. That was just who I was. Our serious moment was broken by the sound of the door being softly knocked on. Luna and Neville scurried back into the living room, and I turned to open the door.

“Hey.” Harry’s voice was quiet and tired. He looked damp, the jacket he had slung over his arm wet and dripping on the hallway carpet. He was wearing baggy, worn jeans and an old green Henley that looked amazing with his eyes. Or, one eye, considering the other one was clearly swollen and beginning to bruise.

“Bloody fuck, Harry! What the hell happened?” I pulled him into the house, kicking the door shut behind us. I took his jacket and hung it up for him before turning and cupping his face gently in my hands. “Oh my god! Does it hurt?” Harry blushed bright red and shrugged, ducking his head to get it out of my hands.

“Uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about...” He looked up at me pointedly, his eyes begging me not to say anything. “Luna and Neville here already?” He asked softly, passing me and pausing before walking into my flat.

“Y-yeah, in the living room.” I pointed in their direction, Harry shooting me a smile and walking over to see them. “Harry...”

“Hey guys.” He greeted them like everything was normal. Neville looked up first, his jaw tightening, but not saying anything except for a polite hello. Luna didn’t even look at him, just holding his hand when he sat next to her, keeping her eyes on the telly. I watched them in shock.

“Alright,” I snapped, getting all three of their heads turned towards me at once. “I don’t know what kind of silent agreement you have about this, but I was not let in on it.” I crossed my arms over my chest, leaning against the wall closest to the couch. “I’m getting you some ice.” I directed at Harry. He opened his mouth, presumably to deny me, but I cut him off. “No, I am. And you’re going to deal with it.” With that, I turned and walked into my kitchen, throwing the cupboard under the sink open and getting a new washcloth before wrenching the freezer open to get ice. _It’s actually his uncle..._ Good lord, if that man laid a single hand on Harry, I swear to god...

“Draco.” Harry’s nervous voice floated over to me from the entrance to my kitchen.

“Yes?” I answered, slightly harsher than I wanted to. I heard him sigh, careful footsteps crossing the tiled floor.

“Look, I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.” I put a few ice cubes on the washcloth and bundled it up, tying the ends.

“I’m not.” I denied, my voice hard and cold. Harry looked disbelieving when I turned around. “Well, I am. Not at you, though. Well, a bit.” I rubbed the cloth where the ice was, getting it damp. It was cooler when it was a little wet. I held it up to his face, trying to get it near his eye. Harry gently pushed my hand away.

“Don’t...” He murmured. Even his resistance seemed tired, unenthusiastic, like he didn’t really want to say no to being taken care of.

“Just-” I gripped his chin carefully between my index and middle finger and my thumb, forcing his eyes to meet mine. “Please, Harry. It hurts to see you like this.” Harry swallowed tightly, the tendons in his neck visible and his collarbones looking wickedly sharp when he sucked in a quick breath. “Let me take care of you. Please.” His shoulders tensed up, and he fought to hold my gaze, eyes flickering away every now and then. I felt his chin wobble, watched his eyebrows come together. He took a deep breath, exhaling shakily, and then nodded minutely.

“I just...” He breathed deeply, letting out a long sigh. “I’m trying really hard, Draco.” He sounded exhausted, refusing to meet my eyes. “I want to be strong and together, but I just...” He looked away, biting his lip as his eyes watered. “I _always_ feel so _broken_.” I watched him choke back a sob, crossing his arms tightly over his stomach. “And I’m trying, but it’s so hard sometimes.” I couldn’t stand to see him like that, and I pulled him into a tight hug, his arms coming around my waist and head tucking into my shoulder. He started crying quietly, his entire body shaking.

“Hey, it’s okay...” I tossed the ice into the sink, holding him with both arms, resting my hand on the back of his head and petting his hair. “Just let it out, Harry. Have a moment.” I could feel his choppy breaths on my neck, my shoulder becoming warm and wet from his tears. “I’m right here, it’s okay.” We stood for a moment, Harry’s soft sobs interrupting the sounds from the telly in the other room. I breathed with him, held him tightly, stood strong for him.

“It was so stupid.” He murmured, his voice tight and choked. “I was only doing laundry. He was upset because I m-mixed our clothes so I didn’t waste water! Now you had to find out like this, and I’ve ruined everything!” A fresh wave of sobs took over, Harry grabbing my shirt in a violently strong grip. “I’m s-sorry, Draco…” My heart broke at his tone, at the desperation and loss in his voice.

“No, no, no. You didn’t ruin anything, Harry.” I swallowed my own tears, tucking him closer with my chin. “I’m sorry.” I whispered. “I’m sorry you have to go home to that. I’m sorry that you think you’re broken and have to work so hard. You’re so amazing, Harry.” His breathing jumped, hands loosening in my shirt. “You’re so sweet and incredible, and I’m sorry you can’t see it. I’m sorry you can’t see yourself like I see you. I’m sorry I can’t do more for you, _be_ more for you.” He started shaking his head, pulling back to look up at me. Tears clung to his eyelashes, and he wiped them away impatiently, his nose pink and eyes red-rimmed.

“You shouldn’t apologise. I’m so lucky you’re here, Draco. Never apologise for being you. You’re perfect.” I smiled sadly, gently wiping the tear tracks off his face.

“If anyone here is perfect, Harry, it’s you. If I can’t apologise, then neither should you.” He stared up at me, a little crease between his eyebrows as they drew together thoughtfully. A long, soft sigh left him, and Harry leaned into me again, burrowing his head into my shoulder once again.

“I made your shirt wet.” Harry mumbled, plucking at the fabric where he was crying.

“I don’t mind.” I assured him, hugging him firmly.

“I don’t want to lose you.” He breathed. “I feel like I’ve lost almost everything.” He breathed in a deep, shaky breath, his voice thin and breathy. “I’m scared.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Harry.” I promised. I squeezed him, rubbing his back. “I’m staying right here.” He finally relaxed, letting me support him, his hands tangled in my shirt and face pressed to my neck.

“Draco...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a tumblr, there's not much on it right now, I don't go on tumblr a lot, but I'm hoping it will help me stay consistent with my posting, so if you're interested, it's [here](http://wammygirlz.tumblr.com/) :) Thanks for all your support!


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